Tune in here to see just what is going on in the crazy hazy World of Podge and Tubbs. It's all harmless, but if you feel it isn't please, please let them know. If however you [like] their posts then please do click the [Like] button :-)
Podge woke up in the middle of the night feeling unable to breathe (a COPD thing) but after 20 minutes of relaxation and mindfulness was able to go back to sleep. Poor Podge woke up the next morning, checked his big toes, and could see no label attached to either big toe so concluded, he must still be alive.
Today was another See The Sea Day so fortunately, not a lot to do but rest, catch up on book reading and generally charging their batteries for The Big Day tomorrow in Seville. As the Azura docked in Cadiz this would mean a coach trip of 90 minutes, each way (hence an early start, Poor Podge).
Before the great recharge however, they decided to have a drink in the Blue Bar. As the bar itself was closed during the day, Podge was summarily despatched to The Glass House around the corner while Tubbs found a nice table and seats offering an excellent view of the ships Atrium. Podge just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t just have sat in The Glass House. It wasn’t long before Podge found out the reason. Davide’s latin teaching class in the Atrium was just about to start so Tubbs had to get a table in the Blue Bar with a good view! Once Davide finished flaunting his hips, that he’d obviously stolen from Podge, in front of a load of middle aged women watching from every possible vantage point, Tubbs was satisfied and so finished her drink and declared that they should move to The Glass House House (Podge might as well have stayed there) where they should have a late lunch or early dinner. Having sated their hunger they returned to the cabin for a nice drink on the balcony in the late afternoon sun whereupon Tubbs fell fast asleep (no doubt dreaming of Davide).
Come early evening, it was time to freshen up and relocate to the Planet Bar for a quick drink before having an ‘early night’. Early night! No chance. The waiter, who Tubbs thought she had trained well, convinced them that they needed some special Gin & Tonic which, as it happened, was rather yummy and refreshing. They had more, many more. Eventually they managed to make their escape, though not without securing their nightcaps, and headed back to the cabin and climbed into the marshmallow bed around 23:30. They set their alarms for 06:30 for an early breakfast so that they could be on time for the long awaited trip to Seville including a ‘lovely’ boat ride along the Guadalquivir River. They were very quickly fast asleep.
Both awoke feeling very, very tired while Podge was definitely feeling more that a little jaded. This was actually made worse by The Ships Master (Captain Maguire) having stolen an hours worth of sleep time from them during the night. Naughty Captain. Eventually and, with much yawning, they made their way to the Epicurean for breakfast. Before they left the cabin however, they both looked at each other through bleary, glazed eyes and both agreed the that excesses of the last 9-days was perhaps just that – excessive: So they both agreed that it would be good for them to have a minimal alcohol day. The agreement was made, in good faith but time will tell!
Post breakfast, they both went for a wander around the ship. All was going well until Tubbs heard a voice similar to Vincent, from Vincent & Flavia fame on Strictly Come Dancing, giving Latin dance lessons. Tubbs became besotted with Davide the Italian Latin Dance teacher (she now wants to learn how to dance Latin) but Podge, he say NO, you’re way too old to dance with that poor young man. Poor Tubbs. Podge had to console Tubbs with the promise of a glass of Anti-Viral Medication (Pinot Grigio – other options are available). It should however be noted that most of the people seeking to learn Latin were of a similar age to Tubbs though not quite as old as Podge: Poor Podge.
Eventually, Podge was able to prise Tubbs away from her viewpoint and they returned to the cabin to sit out on the balcony to enjoy the lovely weather (before the sun moved over to another part of the ship) and quaffed a whole bottle of Prosecco. Then, it became evident that they had noisy nobs who’d moved in next door speaking to each other as though they were each on different decks and playing music more than a little too loud. Mind you, they both approved of the music: Something akin to Ministry of Sound (Podge & Tubbs will be enjoying the Ministry of Sound in the Royal Albert Hall later in the year). Then, it was time to freshen up, and dressing up all nice and posh (it was black tie night again) for their evening meal in the Epicurean. This was when Podge noticed Tubbs wearing a hereto unknown top. Podge did confess that Tubbs did look rather scrummy in it. Tubbs obviously did look good in it as so many people commented on it. It was evident that Podge really did need to keep an eye on parcel deliveries as this one slipped through unnoticed.
Post dinner, they wanted to go to the Planet Bar but it seemed everybody else did too and were actually queuing to get in. Podge and Tubbs don’t do queuing so they gave that up as a bad job. They then went to the Blue Bar but that was full so gave up and tried The Glass House again. Hooray, they found bar seats right where they liked them. Once settled, there was no need to order, as one glass of Breaky Bottom was directly delivered for Tubbs while Podge was provided with a large Jamesons: Both offerings were consumed and repeated twice more [so much for minimal alcohol]. Then, it was time for bed, with nightcaps of course, though not on the same day they got up.
Tubbs’s cough seemed to be getting much better though she was woken at 01:30 by the nobs next door yakking away like there was no tomorrow. (Poor Tubbs). Night Night Podge: Night Night Tubbs.
This was the 2nd day in Tenerife, as more grockles left and new Grockles joined the Azura (Podge & Tubbs seemed to forget that they themselves were Grockles but they didn’t see it that way). Given that they were still in port and given that they were still in Tenerife it was going to be a quiet and relaxing day: The only down side being that they had to have yet another early breakfast but, as per the previous day, they still managed to be there for 08:30. There would be no full English Breakfast for Podge this morning – Tubbs had decreed this. It was therefore back to boring mushroom omelette, Poor Podge. Fully breakfasted, though Podge was still grumpy at not being allowed a full english, they checked out the prom deck and confirmed that it was nice and sunny on their side of the ship. Jubilantly, Tubbs went to get a paper and both then returned to their quarters.
Once ‘indoors’, they made camp on the balcony and decided to carry out some CRAP (Cruising Research And Planning) Management activities. It was unanimously, i.e., both of them, agreed that we should stick with the plan of having a Caribbean Fly Cruise on the Britannia in 2027 particularly because the itinerary included a visit to Bonaire where Tubbs hoped to buy another ‘fish’ like the one she bought before and alway regretted not buying two! 🤗 (nobody knows why, least of all, Podge). They were also conscious that that the Christmas and Caribbean cruise[s] booked for 2027/2028 still had no cabin number confirmed. They quickly checked the future cruise sales desk opening hours which were 16:00 to 20:00. All they could do until that time was to sit back and claim siesta time, which included a glass of Pinot, until the allotted hour.
Come 16:00, they made their way to the Future Cruise & Loyalty desk and joined the queue. There were three in front of them waiting for whichever of the two desks to become free. It never ceased to amaze Podge how people can dither and faff about what cruise to book: Every cabin has a brochure in it explaining what’s what but hey ho. Eventually, it the turn of Podge & Tubbs. In unison, they said hello, we’d like cruise #xx please in such and such a grade and would like to check which cabins have been allocated for our 27/28 cruise. 10 minutes later, the chosen cruise was booked, deposit paid and cabin number confirmed for the 27/28 cruise and they were done and off they jolly well went for some Mai Tai’s & Pink Gin Spritz ( just the one mind you, said Tubbs). Drinks consumed, Tubbs said, we might as well have another, so we did, as we sat in the diminishing sunshine on the Terrace Bar deck, watching the ferries come and go and waiting, for the storms.
The storms never came so they they headed for the Glass House for an early dinner. Here the met the waiter who’d had a tattoo which they ‘had’ to admire. It was actually quite good. Podge still wants EMPTY tattooed across his tummy, aka food baby, but Tubbs still says no. Poor Podge.
Post dinner, they stayed in The Glass House, mainly because they just couldn’t be bothered to move, and saw out the rest of the evening before the lure of marshmallow bed became to much to resist. With that, they asked for their nightcaps and made they way back to their quarters and eventually, settled down in bed, this time to watch Keeping Up Appearances. Luckily, the Lemsip and brandy was starting to work and Tubbs’s cough did seem to be easing and very quickly, Tubbs was soon asleep and Podge wasn’t far behind. Night Night Podge, Night Night Tubbs.
Podge & Tubbs awoke at 07:30 to blue sky and brilliant sunshine but had no time to rest as breakfast finished at 09:00 [the norm on disembarkation days]: Blimey they thought, this is supposed to be a holiday! Not to worry though, they made it [just] for 08:30, phew. As it was the end of week one, Podge had a full, seriously full, English Breakfast with everything going. Naughty Podge. His Food Baby was well happy though it wasn’t to be something it should get used to.
As they sat in the Epicurean eating their breakfast they couldn’t help but look out from the stern to look at the lush hills and sunny skies. This was going to be a good day to relax on the balcony just watching the coming and going of ferries. This was exactly what they did, after the obligatory laps to ‘up the step count’ and walk off the breakfast (Podge’s Food Baby was feeling overly full for some reason) of course. Laps completed, steps counted and agreed they were nearly at the required goal for the day, they made their way back to their quarters, made themselves some tea and sat out on the balcony to watch the coming and going of ferries. They even enjoyed watching sea planes flying in and out of the harbour as they practiced collecting water for fire control (video [in Facebook] taken by fellow passenger).
Eventually however, they could take no more of such excitement and decided to go ashore. So, off they went down to deck six, using the lift to preserve their step count. As they were checking off the ship, they saw a friendly barman from the Blue Bar who said he was taking his friend from the Glass house for a tattoo! Anyway, once ashore however, they immediately turned back, bypassing the queues of newbie cruisers, went back through security, went to the shop and bought crisps, chocolate, and fridge magnets (let’s face it, the fridge back home is devoid of fridge magnets) and then went straight back to the cabin.
Once back in the cabin, Podge actually got his shorts on – this was a good day – Podge was wondering just how long the goodness would last. In case it didn’t, they both went [showing off Podge’s Lilly white and old wrinkly legs] to the Terrace Bar for a couple of Buds but ended up having two Mai Tai’s (Podge) and Pink Gin Spritz (Tubbs) then returned to their balcony to the news that the next days wine tasting excursion had been cancelled (as advised by the local authorities as bad weather really was coming🫣) so, they sat out on the balcony, basking in the sunshine, watching ferries and seaplanes, and tasted their own wines from the fridge. For them this was a good day. Some fellow passengers were ending their cruise while new fellow passengers were arriving. Podge and Tubbs were doing neither, they were staying on for the voyage to the Mediterranean where they knew the weather would be improving 😎!
Eventually, they tired of all the outside excitement so readied themselves for feeding time in The Glass House where they not only enjoyed Fish, Scampi and Fries, they also enjoyed a couple of rather nice, large of course, glasses of Pinot Grigio. And there they stayed until it was time for bed for which they would require their regular nightcap and yes, the guys in The Glass house knew what the night cap was (large Jamesons and large Courvoisier), for them to enjoy while watching the latest BritBox offering of Father Brown. As Tubbs’s cough wasn’t getting any better they both felt the need to have their nightcaps in Lemsip. Let’s all hope her cough gets better soon. Poor Tubbs.
The next morning, they awoke tired and bleary eyed but their hunger was greater so they pulled themselves out of the marshmallow bed and made their way to the Epicurean, using the lift on account of there being so many stairs involved. Here they met exactly the same crew as they did on their last crew which was good as they knew exactly what Podge and Tubbs wanted and exactly what Podge wasn’t going to get (a fried egg sandwich, poor Podge).
Permissible breakfast ordered they both tucked in. Their hunger finally sated, they took what was to become the usual route (down the stairs) back to the cabin to deck 6 for the daily newspaper, up to deck 7 for a quick browse in the on-board shops, especially the sparkly stuff that Podge wouldn’t let Tubbs have (Poor Tubbs), then back up to deck 14 and their cabin. Very soon after, their butler arrived to introduce himself (one day, they’ll remember his name) and check if they have everything they need or if there was anything they wanted. Podge asked for a bottle of Jamesons and 12 cans of water.
As they weren’t due to sail until later that evening, Podge and Tubbs decided to head ashore but, this was Tenerife! Podge and Tubbs recalled their last two visits to the island (bearing in mind that that Santa Cruz de Tenerife is a port city) where they were constantly badgered by beggars asking for money as well as the overall feel of the local town going downhill in appearance. So all they actually did, was go through the terminal, step ashore, then turn back into the terminal, go through security and visit the local shop for crisps and chocolates (they did always like to try the local produce).
Once back on board, they returned to their cabin to stash their goods. Podge noted that the water had arrived but No Jamesons! What did arrive however was a scrummy bottle of bubbles delivered by way of apology for the boarding fiasco (gift of bubbly gratefully received and boarding issues confined to history – Podge & Tubbs are so easily bought). Goodies and bubbles stashed, they made their way first to Malabar to register for Muster Station then onto the Glass House for a drink or three and some Tapas before going back to the cabin to watch the ship sail out of Tenerife (scheduled for 21:00) armed with a glass, a very large glass, of Pinot. Before that time came however the captain came on the tannoy to say that there were still 200 passengers who hadn’t registered. So, 200 knobs who couldn’t be bothered to register with their muster stations (in accordance with Maritime Law) would be delaying us as the Captain said that “until they do, we ain’t sailing” (not the Captains exact words). The knobs very quickly complied and so, the Azura untied all the strings holding them still and sailed away from Tenerife.
Would one believe it, at 00:30, just as Podge and Tubbs were drifting off to sleep, The Captain came on the tannoy to say that the Azura was heading back to Tenerife. Sadly, it was due to a medical emergency, on their deck (not that that was relevant), and needed to evacuate a patient who needed urgent hospital treatment.
Day 3 (See The Sea Day) – 15th March 2026
Today was a See The Sea Day as the Azura sailed to Madeira. They’ve done this journey, from Tenerife to Madeira, so many times that they reckoned they could navigate their own way by now. It’s not however, recommended. Anyway, as it was a See The Sea Day and the seas were calm they hatched a plan to do more steps than they did the day before. With that, around midday, they did manage a few laps until their step count was greater than the previous day then stopped. Their rationale was if they did too many steps early on it would become too onerous a challenge to take on. They wouldn’t declare how many steps they actually did so an element of trust has to be observed. 🙄 They then made their way to what was a very busy Glass House for a few drinks but no Tapas as they would be feeding in the Epicurean that evening.
Once their thirst was sated, Podge & Tubbs returned to their cabin and yo, still no Jamesons. Just then the butler arrived bringing their selected fruit (it was the wrong fruit but not a big deal) so Podge asked once again for a bottle of Jamesons.
Podge is starting to think that the Butler doesn’t think Podge should drink Whisky.
Anyway, Tubbs made themselves a cup of tea while Podge checked the fruit that had been delivered and selected a handful of grapes and they both sat down to review essential in-cabin documents such as cruise brochures and on board shopping details such as duty free. This was where Podge got ‘clever’. The cruise they were on was a 20 night cruise but it did also consist of two separate cruises with the first cruise being just the 7-night Canary Cruise. Anybody on the 7-night cruise would be able to collect their duty free before leaving the ship while those on until Malta would have to wait until a couple of days before then. Podge decided he’d try it on and went and ordered a litre bottle of Jamesons to collect on the coming Wednesday 18th March.
So, off to Duty Free they went, down the lift course as they were now trying to keep their step count down 😉. Once there, Podge selected his desired bottle of of Jamesons or, as Podge prefers to call it, ‘Anti-Viral Medication’ and went to pay and arrange collection. The man behind the counter said he could collect it on the 31st March. Podge said “No, I need to collect it on the 18th”. The man said “Can I double check your card?” to which Podge said Nooooo in a pleading way. The man relented and Podge got his way. Podge now knew he would at least get his Jamesons by the 18th, with or without the Butler. 🥃
That evening was a black tie evening enabling them to dress up in their best Tuxedo’s and posh frocks (It’s so very rare to be able to do this any other time these days). As already mentioned feeding time would be in the Epicurean. Here it became evident how naive Podge & Tubbs were. They thought they knew what they wanted but it would seem that they didn’t.While Tubbs did quite well in ordering Roasted Red Pepper Parfait to start and Black Cod and Canadian Cold Water Lobster Tail with Avruga Caviar Gratin as a main she missed out the Cream of Celeriac and Italian White Truffle which she didn’t know she wanted (apparently Podge wanted it as well). Nilesh the waiter soon corrected her. Podge however didn’t do very well. He ordered Seared King Scallops and Scallop Tartare which was allowed then he tried to order Redman Limousin Irish Beef Fillet and Ox Cheek but was told that what he really wanted was Onley Grounds Farm 28 Day Aged Cote De Boeuf all with Green Asparagus x2, French Beans x2, Thick Cut Chips x2, and New Potatoes x2, in case Tubbs needed any as well. They didn’t dare order a dessert even though they were told they wanted Crêpes Suzette with Vanilla Pod Ice Cream all prepared at their table, they still resisted. It did actually turn out that what they had, which was actually a lot, was rather yummy and Podge’s food baby(Tummy) was feeling very, very full.
After all that [rather scrummy] food it was all they could do make their way to the Planet Bar directly above and find two comfortable seats where they could look out the window. Unfortunately it was night time so all they could see was themselves. The waiter brought over the drinks menu as somebody had nicked the one from their table but they knew what they wanted. Podge wanted a large Jamesons with 1-piece of ice while Tubbs wanted a Cosmopolitan in a special fancy coupe. Tubbs recognised that this was a waiter she would be able to train. Sure enough, her initial training had worked and her drink arrived in the correct glass, Podge didn’t care what glass his drink was in. After a couple of these, they asked for what was to become their regular bedtime drink (hereafter called their nightcap) of a large neat Jamesons (no ice) and a large neat Courvoisier (no ice). These would mix well with Lemsip and would help them sleep and stop any headaches: That’s their belief and they’re sticking with it.
And so it was, off to bed they went, clutching their nightcaps and using the lift (keeping their step count down) and eventually climbed into the yummy marshmallow bed and sat up to begin what was to become their nightly ritual of drinking their drinks while watching Father Brown or Death in Paradise on BritBox until one by one, they drifted off to sleep. Night night Podge. Night night Tubbs.
Day 4 (Madeira) – 16th March 2026
Podge and Tubbs recalled that nearly every-time they go to Madeira, all they did was get the shuttle bus, or sometimes even walk(!), into town then make their way up and down the main drag until they find the Ritz whereupon they find a vacant outdoor table and settle down for a nice long relaxed lunch. One day they’ll have Afternoon Tea at The Ritz but it’s something that has to be planned ahead so will need to form part of Podge’s Cruising Research And Planning (CRAP) Management duties. Until then however, it will be the usual scrummy lunch and wine.
And so it came to pass that Podge and Tubbs did once more find an empty table, set up camp, ordered a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and proceeded to peruse the menu (the menu they knew almost be heart). Eventually, after an initial glass of wine, they asked for Parma Ham Toasties for Tubbs, Salmon Salad for Podge (how healthy) plus a bowl of fries, (can’t be too healthy).
Having filled their tummies with an inappropriate amount of food (especially the fries) and alcohol they started to make their way back to the meeting point to get the shuttle bus back: There was no way that Podge would be able to walk all the way back to the ship and of course it would have increased their step count far too much. On the way back to the shuttle however, Tubbs did happen to look through a shop window and spotted a rather fetching pink shawl. So in they had to go and asked the man if she could buy it. The man said one moment, disappeared down some stairs into an underground do da and quickly returned with his arms full of shawls, all the same but every colour of the rainbow was there plus many, many colours in between. Tubbs selected the Pink Shawl, paid for it and off they went. Tubbs was one happy lady. The man in the shop however most likely had tired arms and legs.
They found the shuttle bus and were whisked off to the Britannia whereupon they re-boarded and made their way to their cabin but they didn’t get too far. They stopped at the Java Cafe as Tubbs had spotted some yummy muffins. They both wanted a yummy muffin each! Tubbs also wanted a Soya Flat White while His Podgeness asked for a Latte. Podge was told he didn’t want a Latte: As he was on the drinks package he should have an Irish Coffee. What do you get in that, he asks! Jamesons of course , said the waiter. Podge relented and had, and enjoyed, an Irish Coffee. Podge may have more of these. 😋
Eventually, before the ship sailed away from Madeira, their drinks were drunk, their Muffins were Muffed (is that a word 🤔) they both returned to their cabin for a much need lie down before they readied themselves for an evening in the Planet Bar. No eating that evening as they had already eaten ashore: No need to over-indulge is there 😋
Podge arose from his afternoon slumber in good time to relocate to the balcony to make sure that the Captain was doing a proper job in manoeuvring the Azura away from the allotted parking space, out of the harbour and setting course for Fuerteventura.
Day 5 (See The Sea Day) – 17th March 2026
Sailing away from Madeira, towards Fuerteventura was to be yet another See The Sea Day. This gave them the chance to continue with their own personal step count challenge, to do more steps than they did the day before. This was going to be a challenge as they had clocked ‘quite a few more steps’ in Madeira than they wanted, compared to the previous See The Sea Day. But, they were up for the challenge and went out onto the Prom Deck to undertake their laps. They called them laps but it’s not possible to do complete laps as the prom deck doesn’t go right round the ship. So they had a choice, get to the end of the prom deck and turn around and walk backwards and forwards or get the end of the prom deck and cut though inside the ship by the Playhouse and back out on the other side and start another ‘lap’. They chose the latter as it did at least feel like they were doing laps. without saying anything openly they were adamant that all was going to plan. Laps complete, and as before, they made their way to The Glass House for a couple of Pinot Grigio’s but no food as they would be going back to the Epicurean for Dinner.
As sure as night follows day, the evening came and again Podge & Tubbs donned their finest finery (it was another formal night) and made their way to the Epicurean where Podge wondered if he would be allowed make his own selection. Fortunately he was, and that evening Podge got his Irish Beef Fillet with chips. And, as they felt that they’d earned it, they had a Dessert of Crêpes Suzette with Vanilla Pod Ice Cream for Podge and Lemon Meringue Tart for Tubbs. This was all to ensure that Podge’s Food Baby was kept well fed. Podge was a happy Podge.
Post dinner, off they jolly well went to the Planet Bar, where they found loads of their fellow passengers were queuing to get in. Podge and Tubbs don’t queue so down they went, using the lift the preserve their step count, to deck seven and made their way to The Glass House passing hoards of marauding passengers trying to get to where ever they were trying to get to and generally getting in Podge & Tubbs’s Way. Eventually however, they reached their goal and a friendly waiter helped them to their favourite stools at the bar whereupon the proceeded to consume many glasses of Breaky Bottom, all the time being supplied with glasses of water with Ice and a slice of orange. Podge was hoping that Tubbs would have many drinks and so be too tired the next day to go ashore. It turned out that he was so very, very wrong. They asked for their ‘nightcap’ then made headed back to the cabin for their bedtime drink and settled down into the marshmallow bed to whatever BritBox was showing.
Still no Jamesons!
Day 6 (Fuerteventura) – 18th March 2026
Tubbs had already declared that today they would be going straight to the Shopping Mall but did promise Podge they would stop at the Tasquito bar, on the way back. Podge liked that bit. Podge didn’t however like the first bit. He just knew that Tubbs would be on the lookout for a new top, for which she would have to explore many shops before finally settling for the one she first saw.
Reaching The Mall was all uphill. Most people wouldn’t notice the uphill but Poor Podge always does these days.
Tubbs looked upon Poor Podge and saw just how tired he was so parked/sat him down next to another poor old bugger so that they could [together] moan about their lot. Eventually however, Tubbs (new top in hand so, she was one happy lady) came to pick up Podge and off they went, downhill (yay) to Tasquita.
At Tasquita, Podge established base camp at a nice table outside and wasn’t going to move. It was a bit windy but it was sunny and that’s what counted. Fortunately, Tubbs agreed. They stayed for the obligatory bottle of wine which was accompanied with crisps and olives, and just sat there people watching. Eventually however Podge and Tubbs felt the draw back to the Azura.
Back on board, they stopped for a quickie at The Glass House before returning to their quarters, via Duty Free to collect a pre-ordered bottle of Jamesons, to rest and watch the Azura leave Fuerteventura. As they had no pre-arranged dinner plans they decided to have a meal in their cabin. On these occasions, Tubbs always has the P&O Club Sandwich and Podge has Omelette with Fries (they’re both so predictable). Podge did also order a bottle of Pinot Grigio to keep in the fridge for lazy sail away evenings. There was another reason for choosing to eat in the cabin and that was to see the butler again. When he did arrive, the Butler had still failed to deliver but not to worry as Podge Was Able To Show Off His Own Jamesons!. Podge felt he was the winner. Dinner arrived and was of course consumed with relish until the Captain came over the tannoy, it was coming out in the cabin as well. UhOh we thought. Now what. It would seem that Storm Theresa was heading into the Canaries bringing with it much wind, rain and, big, big waves. So the decision had been taken to cancel La Palma and head straight to the safety of Gran Canaria. This way we should be able to avoid any big seas though things might still get a bit bumpy.
So, post departure and hunger sated and with some trepidation, Podge and Tubbs then made their way to the Planet Bar to while away the evening where their new favourite waiter kept bringing them Cosmopolitan’s (in Tubbs’s favourite glass) and Large Jamesons. As daylight evolved to nighttime and as such no longer to see outside of the windows, Podge and Tubbs switched to another favourite pastime, that of People Watching. They were so often fascinated at how people can be when on holiday. Why oh why do they come on holiday and then moan at each other and moan about their holiday! Eventually however, it was time to retire and so they asked the waiter for their nightcaps which duly arrived and they made their way back to their and that big marshmallow bed where they relaxed and settled into watching Death in Paradise – neither saw the end. It might even have been a bit bumpy in the night but they knew nothing of it.
Day 7 (La Palma, now Gran Canaria) – 19th March 2026
Hmmm, maybe their smugness over not really feeling any bumps in the night may have been a little premature as the Captain made another announcement. Today was another change to the change of plan. To be sure they continued to avoid the bad weather, though they hadn’t really seen any yet, 🫣 the Azura would depart Gran Canaria at 15:15 while the Iona would depart Tenerife and both ships would effectively swap berths. This would allow for the disembarkation of those passengers completing their cruise on the Azura either Friday or Saturday.
So far, things had worked out well for Podge. Had they gone to La Palma as scheduled, Podge would have had to walk ‘all the way’ up the main drag to the Placenta Bar, it was actually called the Restaurante la Placeta, but obviously this was no longer possible. Furthermore, as they would only be in in Gran Canaria for s short while, visiting Puerto Mogán was out of the question so it looked like a restful day on board. How wrong could Podge be as Tubbs forced Poor Podge to walk to the nearby Mall so that she could buy yet another new top though she did at least treat Podge to 3-pairs of socks. Then, new top in hand for Tubbs and new socks in hand for Podge!, they made their way back to the ship to rest and drink some buds before an early departure.
True to the Captains word, they left Gran Canaria at 15:15 and headed straight out of port where they met some big waves as they watched the [ominous] clouds descend over the island before hanging a left which allowed sun to shine upon their balcony where they stayed, watching the waves grow as they drank their drinks before going down to the Glass House for some tapas before heading to the Blue Bar for a couple drinks, leaving The Captain and his able crew to battle 5-metre waves, strong winds and lashing rain, to close in on Tenerife. This was achieved quite admirably (presumably by lashing a man to ‘The Wheel’) and were able to come alongside and park the Azura by 22:00. At least they knew they would have a peaceful & restful sleep, apart from a Tubbs’s persistent coughing that seems to have developed. Poor Tubbs.
The Adventures of Podge & Tubbs 