Archive for the ‘Cruising’ Category

The Day Before Our Wedding

Posted: March 3, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Help, I’m Marrying a Lizard.

Clearly, [slightly] misleading; or is it?

The one thing that Debbie really hates is the cold. Even walking round the cold isles in a supermarket will turn her fingers white where the circulation has stopped resulting in agony when the blood does finally return.  I have no idea what the cause is or if anything can be done to address it other than to wear gloves, which she clearly does when outside, though even then gloves are not enough.

Stick with me, this will all come together….

Around the beginning of 2013, I asked Debbie, “If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes”. Much to my delight, her response was ‘Yes, of course I would’.  Brilliant I thought, when the times right, I’ll propose, safe in the knowledge that I won’t be rejected. 🙂 I know, I’m an old romantic.

Anyway, not long after that we were looking through our favourite magazine, the P&O Cruise Brochure when I pointed out a cruise that went from New Zealand to Singapore that actually included Adelaide (where her Son Matt went to Uni’ for a while and won a big cycle race). I also pointed out that it was likely to be warm (hot) for most, if not all, of the cruise. Better still, it had many, many sea days, which would allow us to rest & relax. It was however quite a long trip extending to close on 23-days. We just knew however that this was the cruise for us. So, we booked it.

Shortly after that when out for a meal in our local, I decided that the time was right and asked her, properly, if she would marry me. To my great relief, she stuck by what she said and agreed. A few drinks later we started to discuss possible dates when almost simultaneously we suggested getting married at sea and where better than when on the cruise round Australia. That was it: a done deal. A wedding at sea it would be, with a party afterwards when we returned back home.

And today, is the day before that long awaited day. I was excited when she accepted my proposal of a proposal. I was excited when she accepted my proposal. I was excited when we both agreed to a wedding at sea. I’m still excited now.

But:

Ever since boarding the ship, Mrs Me has been constantly seeking the sun’s rays soaking, nay, drinking in the sun’s warmth and sitting there with a glazed looked about her and a smile of contentment. For sure, I just knew that Mrs Me would be happy here. And yet, this constant desire to seek out warmth, which brought about an apparent inner peace and self contentment made me wander whether or not everything was as it should be. I began to fear that maybe she was in fact a ‘Visitor’ from ‘V’.  This would also explain why she was happy for me to be getting a little plump: A nice plump meal.

My fears were further reinforced when she started to shed her skin all over the balcony floor. How reptilian I thought. Maybe the marriage has an outcome I was not prepared for. Or:

Maybe I’ve been taking too many tablets with too much whiskey 🙂

Back to the land of reality, I continue to sit on the balcony quietly content in knowing that tomorrow, the title ‘Mrs Me’ will become official. I look forward to seeing that magical dress that was created and fitted within 7-days and 3-fittings. No doubt I’ll never know the true cost but I don’t really care. I look forward to having Jack as my Best Man and witness and Jill from our table to be our second witness. Most of all, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with Mrs Me (her real name’s Debbie by the way).

For those that are interested,  the music I wanted for the ceremony was:

Happiness – Ken Dodd;
Bring Me Sunshine – Morcambe & Wise;
Unchained Melody.

In the end however, we elected for:

Cantata from Fifty Shades of Grey;
Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini;
Unchained Melody.

Until then however, I’m going to enjoy my last day of freedom and drink whiskey without being nagged.

Byeeeeeee.

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

Posted: March 1, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Obviously, the title isn’t true. One of the attractions of cruising, apart of course from the variety of places one can visit in just one trip, is meting up with friends you haven’t yet met, and let’s be honest the worlds is full of such people but cruising seems to be able to bring such friendships to the fore. But, every once in a while something happens to make you think:

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

This morning in Melbourne was just one of those occasions, though the feeling passed by as soon as it came. But what caused such a feeling?

The cause was MyKi, Melbourne’s equivalent to Oyster!

To get into town from the where the boat was parked, we really did need to get a bus and/or tram. To do this we would have to obtain a MyKi card. This would cost $6 for the card(!) and $8 for a days worth of travel. The only place we could get a MyKi card was in the cruise terminal (unless you were prepared to walk all the way into town) and apparently, they only took cash. At this point, it’s worth pointing out that immediately after we had parked our boat, a Holland America boat came in and parked next to us. Each of the two ships held around 2500 passengers. Both ships were scheduled to be in Melbourne from 08:00 to 17:00 (ish). So everybody naturally wanted to get off early to get the most of their time in port. Can you imagine what it’s like when two ships disgorge their passengers together? That’s when I decided:

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

Obviously, not all 5000 passengers turned up at once, many went on excursions, many stayed on board and the rest staggered their departure time but nevertheless, queues were an inevitable outcome. After what seemed to me to an outrageously long time, we finally reached the pay desk; were asked if we wanted to pay by cash or card(!); elected for cash and obtained our cards, which, we were told, were valid for 4-years. So, if anybody wants a MyKi for getting round Melbourne any time in the between now and 2018, we have two J

Looking back, it wasn’t really that bad, if it took 20 minutes, it wasn’t really that big a deal.

Partly because of the passengers, Cruising is brilliant.

In due course, our ‘packed to the gunnels’ bus delivered us into town close to the river and train station. As we alighted we were met by a number of red topped tourist advisers who took time to explain on a map where we were and asked if the was anything we anted to see in particular. I think to myself, ‘I’ll get him here’ and asked where the nearest camera shop was. Straight away, he marked it on the map, explained how the Mall was close by and also where we would be able to get the tram back to the ship. He also mentioned that if we got lost or needed more information to look out for other groups of advisers in red tops and hats that are stationed around the town at major intersections. Now that, London, is how to look after your tourists/visitors.

As instructed, we made away along Collins Street and then up Elizabeth Street and sure enough we came across the camera shops and $300 later, I left with a shiny new wide-angle lens. Naturally, having spent so much money on myself, this was a green light to the future Mrs Me to spend at least twice that on shiny sparkly things, but first, she wanted a pair of Ugg Gloves – why not, it was after all [well] below 80°

For the records, the Ugg Gloves were followed by one Australian Opal ring, one Clogau Necklace and one pair of Clogau earrings. No doubt the remaining bracelet will join the collection in due course. She did however treat me to a pair of Calvin Klein socks!

Anyway, back to my lens buying experience. Having sourced the lens and left the shop we continued back towards the river, or that’s what we would have been doing had we left by the same door as the one we entered, which we now know we didn’t. Doh. Eventually, we realized something was amiss; the sun being in the wrong place was the clue. We looked at our map and worked out that we were at the intersection of Collins Street and Queens Street: we therefore continued down Collins Street to the next junction, which was also an intersection with Collins Street and Queens Street. This confirmed it; we were lost, disorientated and confused. Now, I don’t mind admitting that sometimes, I can be a little bit clever. I worked out that the river to be down rather than up the hill so we continued down Collins Street J, until we saw going back up. I gave in. I did what us blokes hate to do. I asked for help. I asked for help from what turned out to be a very helpful traffic warden who said we should cross over, continue down the next left, cut through an arcade, turn right and we would be there.

While in the arcade of course, Mrs Me naturally smelled out a shop with things we needed, like a sterling silver coaster with a koala on it, a glass koala, a postcard with a koala and a pewter koala. Finally, we got out of the arcade and reached the riverside where we now needed a drink in what looked like quite a nice little Italian bar (those that know Mrs Me won’t be too surprised at that). Where we finally persuaded a little Italian Waiter to make a table for two on the Veranda. Our quiet little drink turned into wine, water, pizza and fries. And, very nice it all was. As with all good things, we finished our repast and made our way to the tram stop, stopping the check with people in the red tops and hats that we were going the right. At the tram stop, was a tram travel assistant who kept us up to date with the progress of the tram. As the arrival time drew near, it was clear that passengers from both ships were heading back at the same time. Boarding the tram was a bit like boarding the Northern or Circle Line in the rush hour and we were all on it to the end of the line. This did of course mean that we all arrived at security at the same time. This was however where Mrs Me’s cunning plan fired into action and stopped at the Australian Opal store to purchase said Australian Opal Ring. By which time the crowd was but a few stragglers. And so, on to the ship, up to the cabin, pour a drink and relax before dinner where we announced to our table friends that we were to be married by the Captain and asked if they would be happy to be our witness. Their excitement for us was apparent and jumped at the chance. So much so that they started to work out what they would have wear (more on that after the big day). Dinner itself was itself its normal satisfactory affair before Mrs Me and I retired for a quiet drink in the Crows Nest before retiring.

It was in the Crows Nest that we Met Jack (our future best man and nearly 80 years young) and his sister, Joy (86 years young). They both asked us to join them for a drink to celebrate our forthcoming marriage, as Joy was to be leaving the ship two days before hand. Well, one drink led to another and before we knew it, it was 1 o’clock in the morning and both Jack & Joy were just a little bit tipsy. So we found ourselves escorting two wobbly octogenarians back to their cabin so as to make sure they were both ok.

Then, it was time for bed for ourselves. Next Stop, Adelaide…..

Sea; Sea; Sea! Nothing to see but sea

Posted: February 25, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Was my mantra on my last cruise. On this cruise, I will be seeing far more sea though this time a little more exotic. Instead of seeing the Atlantic Sea, I’ll be see’ing the Tasman Sea and the Indian Sea.

So far, the Tasman Sea has come up trumps. The 1st two days were a bit bumpy but nothing to write home about (we even had some rain on day 2) but day 3 was flat, flat and flat again with the temperatures rising enough to burn both Mrs Me and Me :-). I’m sure however that the application of natural yoghurt to the affected areas will sooty us both. The use of yoghurt was recommended by a fellow passenger but I couldn’t be sure if he was having a bit of a giggle. So, alternatively, maybe we’ll just use after sun.

As for Sea; Sea; Sea! Nothing but Sea: had we joined the ship in Los Angeles, Sea would be all we would see for 8 whole days (not sure how I’d cope with that long without seeing land. Anyway, for us, Day 4 will bring Sydney and we will have to be up at 5 to enjoy the sail into harbour and park opposite Sydney Opera House. So, it’s an early night.

Our Wedding Cruise Begins Here……

Posted: February 24, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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My original intention was to write the first blog of our Wedding Cruise on Day 1. Why not? It’s almost logical to start the blog with first day. On reflection, I’m glad I didn’t.

The day started on Wednesday, our first real chance for us both to pack for what was to be a 3+ week cruise from New Zealand to Singapore during which time, we would be married at sea by the Ship’s Captain. Prepared? I don’t think so: we only had, after all, the best part of a year to get ready. Granted, the wedding bit was a relatively recent enhancement to the cruise, though even that had an interesting ‘last minute’ twist.

Last Minute Twist?

Let me explain, Debbie, quite rightly wanted her wedding dress to be just so but we were having trouble finding the right outfit. For my part, whatever she wore would be fine by me, just so long as she was there, but Debbie didn’t buy that. Eventually however, we wandered into an Alice Temperly store to find what was just perfect and at just £350 a snip. So that was that, dress sorted shoes could easily be sourced from Russell and Bromley – where else? All we had to now was await the day of departure but, just over a week before we were due to leave, the future Mrs Me declared that she wasn’t quite sure about the dress, although she did agree it would be good for the going away evening (we’ll be on a ship so not sure where exactly she thought we’d be going away to). However, a quick trawl through the Internet, she identified a bridal wear outfit that would be so must better. So, a couple of a frantic phone calls and an emergency fitting was scheduled for the next day to be followed up by three additional fittings, all in the space of 7 days. I’m still not clear what it cost but I do know that cardboard box it came in, cost £50! I shall give my verdict on the dress on the 5th March, the day after our wedding.

Anyway, back to day 1. Our flight was scheduled for 18:05 with Cathay Pacific; first to Hong Kong, then a change of planes for the last leg to Auckland, New Zealand. So we left on Wednesday (mid-day to get to the airport in good time) and reached New Zealand on Friday and embarked the Arcadia at mid-day on Friday. By this time, we were both extremely tired and grouchy (a grouchy Mrs Me, you really don’t want to meet and yours truly isn’t a lot better) so inevitably anything that didn’t go like clockwork seemed inordinately and disproportionately unacceptable and we wanted blame everybody and everything for all of it. But me, being the sensible one ☺ kept saying to let it go and we’ll see how it all is in the morning. And so we did and we agreed to have our evening meal on our balcony as we sailed out of Auckland Harbour and onto the Tasman Sea bound for Sydney.

On reflection, all that went before the morning after wasn’t really that bad and we are once more settled into our rightful place on board a P&O Cruise Ship, this time – The Arcadia. And once again – and really big thank you to P&O for this – we were upgraded to a Mini Suite. And yes, it is ‘fab_u_lous darling’. I regret to say that for our retirement world cruise, a Mini Suite it will have to be. It is so worth the extra money.

For our first morning on board, we met our wedding Coordinator Ellie or Miss Ellie as I chose to call her, to discuss the arrangements for the 4th March. After going through all the procedure she asked who we would like to be our witnesses. We mentioned that we had met a lovely man (79 years young), called Jack, just before he left Southampton on the Arcadia for the whole of the World Cruise and that he had agreed to be my best man. ‘Oh’ said Miss Ellie, ‘I know Jack: he was a witness at a wedding earlier in the cruise and mentioned he was to be your best man’. (At least he’ll know the ropes ☺)

We then discussed the matter of hair and whether or not Debbie would want to arrange for her hair etc. to be ‘done’ on the day. ‘Oh, absolutely’ said Mrs. Me, ‘we must go and arrange that straight away’. ‘And what about the photographs?’ asks Miss Ellie: ‘Oh absolutely’ said Mrs. Me: ‘We’ll do that straight after we’ve seen the hair people’. – So, off we trot to the Spa where Mrs. Me gets booked in to have anything that can be done, done. And somehow I find myself booked in to have shampoo, haircut, shave & massage! Photographers were next. They explained what they would do for us on the day: photographs with the Captain on the Bridge and then around various locations of the ship plus photos in the East Restaurant in the evening. We then discussed the various packages. Fortunately, we didn’t have to decide on which package until after the wedding. Just as well, I needed a drink just to read them ☺

Having completed all our chores we had that well needed afternoon glass of Pinot Grigio Blush before dinner and an early night in readiness for two whole days of doing nothing but sit on our lovely balcony (the biggest we’ve had so far) and soak up the sun’s rays as sailed across the Tasman Sea heading for Sydney. We knew we’d need the rest, as we would have to up early on the day we sailed into Harbour to be sure we didn’t miss out on the whole ‘sailing in’ experience.

To End:

“With so many things in the sea, you’d think we’d see some of them” mused Mrs Me as she sits on the balcony watching the Tasman Sea drift by.

“Perhaps” said I, “it’s because they are just what you said, they are ‘IN’ the sea, i.e. under the water rather than on it, that you can’t see them”

“Oh yes”, said Mrs Me and back to sleep she went – stirring occasionally to moan that the sun was too hot, put on more sun lotion before going back to the land of nod.

Cruising was invented for Mrs Me.

My Last Posting of the Cruise

Posted: December 6, 2013 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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My last posting of the cruise 😦 – albeit a bit late: the trouble with trying to write the final update is that I’m generally back at work and with a combined 5 hour commute on top of the working day isn’t really conducive to such activities as remembering what happened when in the last two weeks: compounded by the fact that having called at Lisbon on the way home, the last stop, I was to turn around and go back to Lisbon just 5-days later, when the weather was to fantastic; so much so that I was able to eat my lunch on the terrace in a short sleeve shirt. A_n_y_way….

I guess I should start with a warning and an explanation of why I looked a bit different on my return (fatter). I’ll then look back on the cruise overall. Any photos will be added to the gallery in the Places I’ve visited section.

As I write this though I should say that I’m feeling very grumpy because my cruise is over and I’m now pining for the Adonia, Arcadia, Aurora, Oceana or the Oriana. But fear not, in less than 80 days, the Arcadia shall be my new home for a new adventure. Ooohh, I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, back to my new shape: what has happened to me? And why? ….

Well, I do have a theory: and that that is that one of the peculiarities of cruising, especially sea cruising is that the salt-water air has a tendency to reduce the elasticity of one’s clothing thus making them appear and feel so much tighter. I can think of no other explanation, save that of course of over eating, which I find hard to believe.

I do admit, my eating habits have changed, slightly. I still have breakfast, but then I always have done. I still have lunch, but then I always have done. I still have dinner, but then I always have done. I have no other meals, and that’s the truth. But it would be so easy to do otherwise; just take a look at a sample of meal / dining options on board the Oceana:

06:30 - 07:00 - Continental Breakfast;
07:00 - 10:30 – Breakfast;
10:30 - 11:45 – Brunch;
11:00 - 18:00 - Grill food to order;
12:00 - 15:00 – Lunch;
15:00 - 17:00 - Afternoon Snacks;
17:15 - 17:45 - Children's Tea;
18:00 - 21:30 - Buffet Dinner;
18:30 - 22:30 - Restaurant Dinner;
22:30 - 03:30 - Late Snacks;
03:30 – 06:30 – Looks like you fend for yourselves.

There are other options in and amongst these but I suspect that this is enough to give a taster (no pun intended) of the temptations I faced each day and yet I stuck to my three meals a day. So what’s changed, why have I grown so much? Well, the devil is in the detail so lets start with breakfast: normally, it’s toast & marmite; I still have this but now I’m additionally tempted with freely available fried breakfast ingredients such as eggs (fried and/or scrambled), fried bread, mushrooms, beans, liver, black pudding, White Pudding (whatever that is), sausages, bacon, kippers, Corned Beef Hash, Kedgeree, Porridge, Waffles; I think there might also have been fruit and yoghurt! I just can’t help myself and so I find myself doing just that – helping myself to all of it; though I did cut out the liver and black (and white) pudding :-). For lunch, our intention was to always skip lunch but that never happened. For the first few days I would limit myself to just curry, chips and rice, but strictly no dessert. On a couple of occasions, having arrived back from being ashore, it was necessary to use the all afternoon grill and make do with fish & chips (always available and cooked to order), but still no dessert. The last few days however we limited lunch to just a couple of small rolls and just the tiniest smallest cake we could find. For dinner however well, I had no chance. There was a selection of starters; then soups; then the main course; then dessert, which I nearly always skipped; then cheese and biscuits; then petit fours (sweets), all washed down with a nice bottle of wine, followed by a liquor and coffee. Other than this, I think I did rather well, and yet, as with many other passengers, I seem to have put on weight, I know not how much but it feels like a lot: even my next size up (contingency) trousers [with active waistband] feel a little snug.

And to think, I wanted to make the name ‘Podge’ ironic. 🙂

So, what did we / I do to combat this unprovoked attack of apparent gluttony? Well, true to our plans, we did do our 3.2 laps of the Oceana every day we were at sea (except the last day when we did just 2 laps cos I was cold & grumpy). When in a port, we figured that the walking ashore would compensate for the loss of laps on those days. Then of course there was the Gym. I seem to remember buying a shirt from the on-board shop especially to go to the gym and burn off some of the [excess] fat. Well I went down and did 15 minutes on the exercise bike and never went back. I just never seemed to find the time, what with meals, laps, after lap drinks, after lunch drinks, fiveseys, etc. Then of course there’s the shows to see, the quizzes to take part in, the talks on gem stones [for Mrs Me] with free champagne, shopping in the on board shops, meeting with our fellow passengers to exchange stories of the times we had since we last exchanged stories, seeking out ships photographers to get those special photo’s and, listening to the Captains twice daily updates (a particular favourite of Mrs Me). Of course, writing takes up some of my time! Days on a cruise ship are just too damned short.

So, the big questions is; did I enjoy my Birthday Cruise? Of course I did. Possibly, I enjoyed this cruise a little too much and will have to pay a penance [of diet and exercise] when I get home.

The Arrival
The cruise started almost as soon as you arrive at the terminal. As you drive up towards the entrance, people just turn up and take your luggage off of you, somebody takes your car and all you have to do is walk to the check in, make your way through security and onto the ship and cabin, safe in the knowledge that your luggage will arrive as if by magic. So much more civilised than flying.

I have to say, being upgraded to a mini-suite was a great start to the cruise. Not being told until you arrive at the check in was even better. It really was a wonderful surprise, trouble is, both Mrs Me and I want a mini-suite every time now: they just have to be worth the extra money. Then of course there was the welcome bottle of champagne and box of chocolates. Fab. Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, with a mini suite comes five o’clock canapés such as strawberries dipped in chocolate, deep fried prawns or even smoked salmon with caviar. Obviously not altogether: just a different culinary experience each day.

When we booked the cruise, we deliberately selected one with a large number of sea days. This was to ensure that Mrs Me got lots of rest. The plan worked, Mrs Me rested, a lot. Better still, the layout of the cabin was such that she didn’t need to get out of bed to see out of the floor to ceiling window as she was virtually next to it so, while His Podgeness made and delivered the morning tea to Mrs Me she would be able to, and did, just lay there and view whatever island we had arrived at, or simply see the sea. Even on my birthday I made and delivered her tea. But, she’s worth it. And anyway, it allowed me to sit out on ‘my’ balcony and drink my coffee in peace :-).

Places We Visited:
• Madeira;
• La Palma;
• Gran Canaria;
• Lanzarote;
• Lisbon.

Madeira
This is a place we have visited before and having previously taken an excursion to see the island, the lace factories, the churches (the boys loved that bit – not) and of course the Madeira Wine manufacturing and drinking process we elected to do our own thing. Doing our own thing meant walking into the town of Funchal and simply exploring the town, the shops (obviously) and gardens: in particular, the botanical garden which were located at the top of a great big hill: a huge big hill: nay, a mountain. The only way up was by mountain goat, bus, helicopter, donkey, piggy back from Mrs Me or Cable Car. We chose the latter. Well done Mrs Me: I know how you hate heights and I love you even more for doing it. Only trouble is, you spoiled it by making me walk the Botanical Gardens from top to bottom, then she made me walk all the way back up again. Now, if you imagine the Streets of San Francisco all jungleised, narrowed, cobbled and wibbly wobbly, well that was what it was like. Yet I made it and, for somebody with COPD (Codgers Old Puffing Disease) I reckon I did quite well, and what did I get as a reward? One teeny weeny beer. I didn’t make a fuss though, much….. Then, it was the ride back down, you know, down the hill I’d just walked down then back up, by cable car. We might as well have stayed at the bottom of the gardens. But then, we wouldn’t have been able to look down into the houses and windows of everybody as we glided down on the car: I can’t believe how many people leave making their beds so late; tsk, tsk.

La Palma
La Palma, La Palma. Oh La Palma, I [we] just loved La Palma. Having not booked an excursion, we were free to do as we wish, or more accurately as I was told I wished by Mrs Me. So, after a particularly late & lazy, but comprehensive, breakfast we decided to wonder into town, look at the shops: what is it about shops that attracts Mrs Me? I can understand wanting to look at local crafts and the like but she gets really animated if she finds a Zara. Anyway, the first thing we did look for was a fridge magnet: we always try to get one from each port / location we visit (abroad or the UK). It didn’t take long to find a nice little shop full of proper local products including fridge magnets made to reflect the local geography. The shop itself was run by the most wonderful little lady who couldn’t speak a word of English, while we couldn’t speak a word of Spanish and yet she told, and we listened intently, the story of the Island, the story behind the marking on the magnet and so many other things besides. We know this because she kept drawing things on a piece of wrapping paper and taking us through an archeological book about La Palma. We wished we spoke Spanish, we wish she spoke English. We both wished, almost at the same time, we could adopt this woman and take her own. She was so lovely and obviously proud of her shop and products within. And all we bought was the solitary magnet. If you go to La Palms, find the shop.

Moving on we found a bar, what a surprise, and with it being so hot we elected to sit and watch the world go by while imbibing the local beer: Nice. As we looked left and right at all the neighboring bars we noted that every one of them was full of people doing exactly the same as us; and virtually every one of them was from the Oceana.
Thirst quenched, we continued along the front before turning inland to find, wait for it, lots of shops, all in the quaintest of streets where no traffic shall run with many bars set out in the middle of this quaint street and shops that even I approved of, though this have been because of the senoritas running such shops: they were lovely. Ouch, why does my ear hurt again? We continued, with throbbing eat, to browse and even buy things, mainly for Mrs Me, until the shops started to close for the siesta: 13:30 to 17:00 is a pretty good siesta! So, we found another bar whereby we succumbed and took time out for another beer then guess what, the blooming bar shut for its own siesta! Still, at least we got our beers in first. Then, it was back to the ship for a late lunch (fish & chips), a nice Merlot and a bit of a sleep before our traditional five o’clock cocktail (fiveseys).

Gran Canaria
We arrived at Gran Caria, dead on time as usual, but to what was a relatively overcast day with drizzle, sometime mizzle, drifting across the harbour. Interspersed with the sun peaking out from behind the occasional cloud, the rainbow effects, often-double rainbows, were stunning. Looking out from the balcony, they seemed to drop down into the sea directly opposite me: It felt as though I could reach out and touch them.
Gran Canaria was to see our first excursion and one where I thought I had been stitched up. I thought it was a 4-hour shopping trip whereby we are driven to the town and dropped off and left to fend for ourselves until we were picked up again. Oh how wrong I was. Mrs Me had played another blinder and picked out probably the best excursion on offer.

Given the weather conditions, we played safe and took with us coats and brollies, found our coach and of we went for a 50 minute ride across the island to the other side where there was no rain, no clouds, no rainbows, just wall to wall sunshine: I was so glad I wore long trousers, shirt and coat. Within half an hour of arriving at what turned out to be the Little Venice of Gran Canaria we found the most stunning of beaches inhabited by some pretty stunning ladies and some ladies who far less dressed than me. They weren’t even wearing a vest; unfortunately, most of these ones were of the less stunning variety ☹ Ouch, leave my ear alone. I must have looked like Roy Cropper compared to some of these sun-tanned beauties, but did it bother me? Of course not (it did really). Mind you, I did cheer up a bit when we espied a shop offering Fish Pedicures. Have you ever seen a Fish Pedicure? Well, when Mrs Me has one, you don’t see it, you hear it. I’ve never heard I scream like that before (much to my shame ☹, ouch, leave my ear alone). Anyway, to see the look of joy and pleasure on her face (no, I’m not going to say anything), was ab absolute delight.

As we explored the town / marina I quickly realized that this was not a shopping trip, but a visit to one of what must have been one of the most delightful locations on the island. As we wondered round, looking at the boats of all shapes and sizes in the harbour; the yellow submarine [sic] up on the jetty, looking for a suitable bar, we (I) espied a podium dancer. Yep, that’s right a podium dancer, dancing in the open-air in the middle of the afternoon. I simply had to avert my gaze. I really did. Why? Well the podium dancer was dancing along to songs sung by a geriatric Engelbert Humperdinck wannabee (actually, he was quite good); while the podium dance was (I’m guessing) was his geriatric partner dancing ballroom type dances in the bandstand which was in effect a podium. I definitely needed a drink after that. And then , it was time for the coach back to the ship; fish & chips; merlot; snooze then fiveseys.

Lanzarote
Today was the big day, the day that His Podgeness hit 60, years that is. Yay, I proved them all wrong. They all said I wouldn’t make old bones. The vets (sorry, I meant doctors) said I wouldn’t see 50 let alone 60; well here I am, alive and well. So there!

Anyway, as it was my birthday we decided not to commit ourselves to any excursions and deliberately have a quiet morning with a long lazy breakfast before receiving my birthday gifts, and obviously as it was a 60th birthday, such gifts were expected to be special, no cop out presents this time. But I needn’t have worried; Mrs. Me did me proud. I got a lovely shiny mini iMac in the guise of Mac Book Air: it’s lovely and it’s on my Mini iMac that I’m writing this update. I got other things as well but nothing for disclosure here ☺.

After the lazy breakfast and gifting, we went ashore for a walk into town to view the shops and bars. After a 20 minute walk I came to the conclusion that the town of Arrecife was a more than a little bit grotty (I’m sorry Arrecife, but much work is needed). Having said that, it does look as though a great deal of work is being done to the Marina and cruise terminal so the future looks good. Seems like a pretty good excuse to come back, methinks ☺.

Anyway, apart from the suggestion that we went to see the fort on the sea front, because apparently we might be able to see the sea (Wow, how cool would that have been, seeing the sea. Lets face it, we’d seen so little of sea of late!), the trip into town was pretty uneventful. So having avoided the need to see the sea, we made our way back to the ship, stopping at a bar on the way for a couple beers, of course. Having made it to back to the ship, we barely had time to collect our thoughts when it was time for the sail-away and an obligatory glass of champagne ☺. All too soon however, it was time for fiveseys. And so we had to move from the Sun Deck to our Bar aka: The Yacht & Compass. Here we were met by me new girlfriends (ouch, me ear hurts again) who gave me a great big kiss and told the band that it was my birthday and I had sit there while they played Happy Birthday. Time once more for fizzy pop before retiring, though by now, it was no longer my birthday – Boo.

Lisbon
After a whole day at sea, we finally made land again and after heading up the River Tagus we finally berthed at where the new cruise terminals are being established. By all accounts, the intention is that the terminal(s) will be able to accept 12 cruise ships at any one time; that would be some sight though how the infrastructure will cope with coach excursions from 12 ships at a time (I saw the impact on Southampton last year with the 175th Grand Event when all off the P&O fleet was in port – I was lucky enough to have a cabin the Oceana for that as well). Still, another reason to come back.

I’ve been to Lisbon before but this was the first time that I had visited when it was cold, very cold, and even with a hint of rain [unlike my return visit 5-days later through work commitments, when it was blue sky with not a cloud in sight].
This time, we decided to visit a little town called Obidos, a small medieval town, on a hill of course, with tine, tiny cobbled streets that seemed to do nothing but go up or down, and of course I had to do both, if only to keep Mrs Me happy (phew, she didn’t hear that one). Ouch; looks she did after all.

I have to say, that Obidos is well worth a visit: to drink Port out of chocolate cups is an experience to die for. Their cups of hot chocolate are to die for, and if I climb up any more cobbled streets I probably will do.

After that, it was time to head back to the ship, whereupon we left Lisbon with a great big typical British send off from the sun deck with loads of Union Jacks and good old traditional British sing song songs. Then, it was sulky time, for we knew that the next port of call would be Southampton and thus the end of the cruise, Boo. I shouldn’t moan really, we had a great time, even though I now have a cauliflower ear, though I know not why.

As and when I get the chance, I’ll add pictures to the travel section. Then, the countdown starts to the next ‘special’ cruise from New Zealand to Singapore. Yay.

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