Posts Tagged ‘Travel’

Perth – The Final Frontier

Posted: March 30, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Perth was our next advertised port of call. Our visit to Perth wasn’t actually so. The port is Freemantle from where one can get to Perth. Perth is a place we never went to, so I suppose, Perth wasn’t really our next port of call after all: it was Freemantle. But Perth was advertised, so Perth we’ll call it – but really, it was Freemantle.

We had elected to take an excursion, not to Perth but to Caversham Wildlife Park followed by a visit to Sandalford Winery vineyard for some always welcomed wine tasting. The best bit was that the excursion didn’t start until after lunch so we could have a relaxing morning starting with a lazy breakfast in a [relatively] empty restaurant while everybody else was out exploring. After this, we went ashore just to get a picture of us in port. And then ‘view’ the Queen Mary 2 that had parked behind us, back-to-back, or stern-to-stern for those with a nautical bent J.

She may regret parking behind us later!

Having had such a late, and rather hearty, breakfast we opted to skip lunch though I did promise myself I would need to hunt down some food on my return, scheduled for 16:30. Anyway, with that decision made, we made our way shore side to join our tour bus and tour guide. As we boarded, we were told that we were the last excursion to leave and would most likely be the last to return which would be just in time for the ship’s allotted departure time so, when we returned, we would be asked to re-board the ship as quickly as possible. No pressure there then! On our last coach excursion, in Adelaide, we had a great tour guide, a ringer for Steve Erwin, but this tour guide was definitely not Australian, or English. She sounded Italian so Italian she shall be. Her grasp of the language was good but not good enough and seemed to have trouble when trying to explain some aspects of the local area: This wasn’t helped by a PA system that worked only half way up the coach with intermittent feedback and even, on occasions, cutting out. For the first hour, we made our way through the city traffic and the myriad of traffic lights, which always seemed against us. Eventually however, we reached the outskirts and, at last left the city behind. Not before however, we caught a brief glimpse of Perth’s skyline, so at least we can we say we’ve seen Perth even if we never actually went there. The one thing we did notice was how dry everything was. This area is known to be hot but this season had been a particularly hot one with no rain for 4-months. (As I’m writing this and looking at the news from Perth –re: the lost Air Malaysian flight MH370 – I get the feeling that the dry spell is most definitely over). The ground was so dry and the grass looked like straw: a far cry from the floods we had left back home in England. How ironic that we in the UK are seeing the most rainfall since I don’t know when yet here on the other side of the world, they’re experiencing heat waves and extended periods (4-months) without rain.

Eventually however, we reached the wildlife park and were told we would have 50 minutes here before we would have to move on to the winery.

As we got off the coach, the wall of heat hit us; it was chuffing hot. 50 minutes I decided would be more than enough. And anyway, we had already seen a group of wild Kangaroos on the way to the park so we’d already got our money’s worth :-). As we made our way through the park, it quickly became obvious that once more, Mrs Me (now official) would be happy as there was an abundance of wallabies / kangaroo’s (even white ones) and Koala’s for her to play with.

IMG_3663 IMG_3603 Mrs Me was truly, once more in heaven and if Mrs Me is happy, then so am I and even better, we still had the wine tasting to come. At this centre there was an abundance of Koala’s and Mrs Me got to fiddle with, not all of them, but enough to sate her appetite for Koala acquainting. After that, it was a quick dash to the Wallaby / Kangaroo section, where once more, we were able to feed them, if they had any appetite of course. And an appetite they did not have. We put this down to the fact that there was a great big bin from which anybody could grab as much food as they wanted for feeding purposes. Clearly, they had had more than enough for one day, though there was one that had some interest. IMG_3643 But, before we left, we espied an area with numerous birds, including a Kookaburra.   IMG_3630and, a Wombat called Neil who we simply couldn’t resist having our photo taken with. I’m note sure it was the most flattering of photos, at least from Neil’s perspective: I’m sorry Neil, but Mrs Me did insist on me being in the picture. IMG_3638

Time for the Winery.

In no time at all, we were back on the coach and heading over to the winery where we would have the opportunity to listen to them tell us all about the grapes, the history of the vines, how the wine is stored in barrels for who knows how long, the bottling process, and finally how to taste the wine.  Now, there’s a couple of things you need to know at this point: my parents used to run a pub where we sampled and sold lots of wine and beer, we handled barrels of all sizes (Kilderkins, Firkins & Polypins / Pins). We were also keen gardeners so we know how things grow and I briefly worked in a brewery so I also knew about bottling so if anybody thought I was going to stand around and listen to all that, they were so very, very much mistaken. While everybody else stood around waiting for their ‘lecturer’ to turn up and talk, Mrs Me and I went straight into the shop where a rather attractive (ouch, my ear hurts again) young assistant who was more than happy to let us taste all sorts of wine before we bought some bottles, just for the journey and of course to support the local industries. Having bought what we wanted we went over to the lecture area, which was now finished while the rest crowded into the store. We now had easy access to all the remaining wine plus cheese plus biscuits. We were well sorted. At the allotted time, we made our way back to the coach then had to wait until everybody else had made their choices / purchases before we could leave, now 30 minutes late and 30 minutes before the time we had to be back on the ship with a 45 minute drive ahead of us.

We were going to be late.

Now, I’m sure you can work this out. We had to be back by 16:30, we were 30 minutes from last boarding time so it was therefore 16:00. We had a 45 minute drive back to the ship through the city of Freemantle, just when people are starting to finish work for the day and head for home, or the beach or the bar, etc., etc. The 45-minute drive was going to take longer than 45 minutes. It took 75 minutes. And what an interesting 75 minutes it was to be. Naturally, the traffic took its toll on us as did the numerous traffic lights but at least it enabled me to view the sights of Freemantle. I now know that if I ever want to buy heavy duty diggers, giant earth movers, tankers – of any variety, cement mixers, 18-wheeler rigs or even a WWII tank, the outskirts of Feemantle was the place to go. They also seemed to like their ‘adult shops’ though Mrs Me wouldn’t let me jot down the website address’s. Bulk Billing for various medical services was another frequent observation as well: What that was all about, I really don’t know but as every other one was of a dental nature I took little notice. At last, we reached the ship, late. But as it happened we weren’t the last but the sail away party was set to start in 15 minutes so it was a mad dash back to out cabin to deposit our purchases (fridge magnets, cuddly toys, post cards, etc. the usual stuff) before heading up the terrace bar.

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I think we need a bigger fridge.

The deck was packed with fellow travellers all waving either UK or Australia flags, either way, the Union Jack was flying, to a mix of English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish and Australian songs all of which got louder and more involving as the sailing time approached. The volume and general boisterousness of our singing, cheering and dancing was in response to the passengers on the opposite deck on the QM2 who just stood there and looked at us in bemusement. Clearly those on Cunard do not know how to have a good time although eventually, they did stoke up a 4-piece jazz band but they had no chance against all the Arcadia passengers in full voice backed up by the Arcadia PA System including LOUD recordings of the ships horn. The songs came and went; the minutes ticked by; the QM2 looked on – in silence; and still, we didn’t move. Then came the dreaded announcement (happens at virtually every port). The ships announcement is made, could Mr so and so from cabin so and so please contact reception. This means that somebody has been ashore but they either haven’t yet returned or they haven’t been registered as returned (it’s normally the latter of course). At this point the vote takes place, all in favour of waiting for them to return shout ‘aye’ (nothing): all those in favour of leaving them behind shout ‘aye’ – without exception, all shouted ‘AYE’. Then we shouted across at the QM2 to ask if Mr so and so was on their ship. They looked back, blankly and said nothing, though a couple had managed to find a flag to wave (obviously previous P&O passengers). The ships announcement was repeated a couple more times before eventually Mr so and so had been tracked down. But still we didn’t move.

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And why didn’t we move? We didn’t move because we were waiting for the QM2 to go first as she was in our way. But at last, about an hour and half later, she untied her strings and pushed away from the the side and she was away with us on the Arcadia waving her farewell. And, with that, we also cut loose our strings, pushed away then we had to do a complete turn to face the right way and then we too were off.

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And, as the sun sett on yet another beautiful day, we set course up the west coast of Australia across the Indian Ocean towards Bali, a journey that would take us 3-days.

That was the end of Australia and so for us, Perth truly was our final frontier: for Australia anyway. But fear not Australia, we loved you all. It was probably the best country we’ve visited to date and yes, we’ll be back, with P&O of course.

I never did get any lunch that day 😦

#28 Memories of a Memorable Day

Posted: March 23, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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So, the long awaited day had arrived: that day was, by the way, March the 4th 2014. The day when Debbie agreed to me becoming her Husband. Ten years in the waiting, neither of us really knew how we wanted the day to be but we did know that we didn’t want it to be a church wedding. Equally, we didn’t want it to be a big ‘let’s shout it out’ wedding. It would be a quiet affair and the quieter the better.

Before the day……..

Now, earlier last year when browsing through the cruise brochures, as was our want, we spotted a cruise that would take us from Auckland in New Zealand via Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth & Bali to Singapore. The significant aspect of this was Adelaide, where Debbie’s eldest boy, Matt, had spent some time at university but, more importantly, had entered a big race, sponsored by the Alphutte Restaurant, beat the Aussies and won it. Debbie so desperately wanted to see the trophy with her boys name on it. Obviously, the whole trip had its attractions not least of which was the chance to see, stroke, even hold, a Koala. So that was it, our minds made up, we booked the cruise, with a three night stay in Singapore afterwards and the countdown begun.

Some while later, and we’re talking months here, we both, simultaneously posed the idea of getting married at sea and the Australia cruise would be the ideal time to do it. That was it: minds made up we put the wheels in motion with P&O and that was that. All we had to do, was join the ship, await the allotted day and, knowing that P&O would ensure all happened as it should, dress up smart and turn up and get married. Obviously, it wasn’t that straight forward. Debbie would need a dress but we felt that there was no hurry and we could get one in January.

January came and come the middle of the month, we were starting to worry that Debbie would not find a dress. She knew she’d seen an Alice Temperley number she liked so off to Bicester Village we travelled and lo and behold, there was that very number in the shop, and, it was the right size. Yay I said, buy it and lets go to the pub for a drink to celebrate. Nay she said, lets look at the other shops to see if there is anything better. Nay I said, buy it and lets go to the pub for a drink to celebrate. Nay she said, in a tone that suggested that she was right and I was oh so very, very wrong. OK I said, let’s look at ALL the other shops, then, lets go back to Alice Temperley and buy it and then go to the pub to celebrate. I was walking on thin ice I know but, I got away with it.

Bet you can’t predict what’s coming next 🙂

I won’t go into the number of shops we visited, check out Bicester Village website to get an idea, but it was a lot, and it was cold and it was rainy and I was a broken man. But, I knew I was right and this knowledge kept me going. Eventually, having looked at just about every handbag in every shop but no dresses we went back to Alice Temperley and bought the dress. We then went back to the pub to celebrate, except the pub was closed so we went straight home for a cup of tea instead. But not to worry, we (she) had the dress and all was well. All we had to do now was wait for the 19th February when we would fly out to Auckland to join P&Os Arcadia.

Then, sitting at home on the evening of the 6th February, the delightful Mrs Me (future) suddenly announced that she didn’t feel the dress was right after all . She had to have another one. The Alice Temperley  was to become the evening dress (did I mention that Mrs Me (future) had already bought an evening dress?). So, trawling over the internet she found a shop in Newbury (Mrs Jones Bridal Boutique) that had a dress that she felt was just right. A couple of phone calls later, and she was booked in for a Saturday try out, subsequently followed by three amendment fittings and the dress was ready by the 15th February. I don’t know how much it cost, I do know how much the Alice Temperley cost but not the new number. I do however know that the cardboard box it came in cost £50.

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Come the 19th February, we flew out to Auckland, via Hong Kong, picking up many comments about the pretty box Mrs Me (future) was carrying. It’s my wedding dress she announced; it (the box) cost £50 I announced. Take that she said as she clipped my ear over and over again. At last however, we reached the ship and the confines of our cabin on the Arcadia and we settled in and having found the champagne that P&O had left for us, we spent the first evening on our balcony, chilling.

The next day, we met with our Wedding Co-ordinator, Ellie, from hereon to be known as Miss Ellie who ran us through the process and confirmed of course that we were who we said we were and took the particulars of our Best Man. Jack was our Best Man, we met him the day before he joined the Arcadia in Southampton for the whole world cruise (we were just doing a leg of it) and as such he was our [kind of] advance scout. Little did we realise just how devoted to his new role he was. “Jack?” asked Miss Ellie. Yes, do you know him, we asked. Oh yes, he was a witness at another wedding three weeks ago. It turned out that a couple on his dining table were getting married at sea as well and when Jack told them about us and his role as Best Man, they asked him if he would be their witness: a kind of practice run. That’ll be him I confirmed and that was that. All we needed was another Witness, Miss Ellie would do this if we found nobody so we were just about ready. All we needed to do now was to arrange with the Ships’s Photographer to ‘do our pictures’ and a session in the Spa on the morning of the wedding.

So, who would be our second witness?

For our evening meals, we had opted for a table of six, that way you get to meet four new friends. As it turned out, two of our unknown friends had switched to the early sitting, so we just had the two remaining. Tim and Jill, as was their names, turned out to be a fantastic couple who did in fact have very similar personal stories as ourselves (no need to go into the detail) and they both in fact came from the Southampton area; given that Jack was from Portsmouth as was I, everything seemed so just right. And in due course, we asked if they would join us on our special day and for one of them, Jill, to be our second witness. Thankfully they agreed: in fact, Jill was more excited about the day than Debbie.

The Big Day has arrived.

The clock showed 08:30, I was on the balcony having my early coffee, watching the sea go by, wondering how the day would go. Would Mrs Me (future) cope with the pressure; would the dress be ok (believe it or not, I hadn’t seen it yet); would she get the words wrong; how would she cope with her lizard legs; would her hair be ok; would they (the Spa) do her makeup the way she wanted it These were all concerns I had. As for me, all I had to do was have a hair cut and a shave put on my best dinner suit and go to the bar 30 minutes before the allotted hour. At this point, there was a knock on the door. It was our Champagne Breakfast. This is a good start I thought, breakfast delivered to our room with a nicely chilled bottle of bubbly, to accompany a bottle from Mrs Me’s kind friends where she works. As we settled down to eat the door knocked again, it was another bottle of champagne from my lovely Sister. Obviously, we couldn’t drink it all but we could at least make a start. Today, I thought, was going to be a good day.

Having breakfasted, Debbie had to go to her 09:30 appointment at the Spa. Mine however wasn’t until 11:00 so I settled back down on the balcony and had another welcoming glass of champagne before I too headed off to the Spa. On my way, I popped into the on-board jeweller and bought her a Clogau bracelet to go with her Clogau Necklace earrings that we bought earlier and gave it to her as a sort of pre-wedding present (must have been the champagne). Then, it was my turn for the pre-wedding treatment.

I was greeted by the lovely Tania who explained that she would be giving me a nice haircut, nice shave, a facial plus hand, arm shoulder and scalp massage. The one thing she didn’t tell me was that she was also going to put cucumber like things on my eyes and a face mask. Fortunately, there are no pictures of this event but I have to admit, I did feel a new man and so chilled and relaxed (or was that the champagne?). I was now ready for the main event. All I had to do was change out of my shorts, sandals and t-shirts and squeeze myself into my suit and head on up to the Crows Nest to meet Jack, Tim and Jill and to be subsequently met by Miss Ellie.

While we were waiting, Tim and then Jack obtained large whiskeys for me to settle my nerves.

Jack Me & Tim

Once at the Crows Nest, my first task was to ask Jill if she would be able to go down to our cabin to make sure Debbie was ok and walk up to the Crows Nest with her. Well, I didn’t have to ask her twice, a big kiss and a big hug, and she was gone. At least I knew that Debbie would have some company and moral support for the long walk from Deck 7 towards the rear to Deck 10 at the front. This left just Jack, Tim and me to relax for half an hour, with another whiskey, when right on cue, Miss Ellie arrived with my Button Hole and reminded me how the ceremony and day would unfold and reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. Worry? Me? I don’t think so, I’m more worried for my future Mrs Me.

The Time Has Arrived

Just before two o’clock Captain Aseem Hashmi, MNM (merchant Navy Medal), who was to conduct the ceremony arrived and asked me if I was still ok and told there was still time to duck out if I wanted to, just as I was about to answer, he said, too late, she’s here. You may turn and view your bride. I did turn and saw my future Mrs Me looking more beautiful than I ever remembered or could imagine and to see her standing there in her last minute choice of wedding dress literally took my breath away. Was it really true that this vision really wanted to marry this fat old git? Apparently it was. It was at that moment that I lost all my composure, turned all wimpy and became an absolute blubber guts. For all my concern about her coping with the whole affair, it was me that folded. But, I did manage to compose myself and the Captain proceeded with “Are you Kevin Stirzaker….” – I looked at him and asked “Am I what?” – “No” he said, ‘Are you Kevin Stirzaker?” – “Oh I see” I said, followed with “Yes I am” and then the ceremony continued. I just couldn’t stop looking at Debbie though; I couldn’t get over just how stunning she looked. She had indeed scrubbed up really well. 🙂

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After being pronounced Husband & Wife, and the subsequent kissing and shaking of hands and cuddles it was time to sign the register before heading off for a series of photo shoots around the ship, starting with the Bridge.  Adrian, the Ships Photographer took us around the ship making us feel like royalty as we moved from location to location to have those special photo’s to be taken. I have to say, he made us feel really special throughout the day. The plan was to get a couple of sunset photo’s from the very top on Deck 12 but the cloud cover prevented this but for all that, the day was a fantastic day and one I, and my Wife 🙂 would remember for ever.

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Throughout the whole shoot and the rest of the day in the restaurants, we were drinking champagne and the occasional whiskey to fill any gaps, so that by the end we were both feeling a little tired, as can be clearly seen in this last photo.

Oh no, what have I done?

The rest of the day became a blur, possibly due to whiskey and champagne and so with that, it was time for bed, once more on a different day to the day we actually got up. Ho Hum.

Night Night all.

The Day Before Our Wedding

Posted: March 3, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Help, I’m Marrying a Lizard.

Clearly, [slightly] misleading; or is it?

The one thing that Debbie really hates is the cold. Even walking round the cold isles in a supermarket will turn her fingers white where the circulation has stopped resulting in agony when the blood does finally return.  I have no idea what the cause is or if anything can be done to address it other than to wear gloves, which she clearly does when outside, though even then gloves are not enough.

Stick with me, this will all come together….

Around the beginning of 2013, I asked Debbie, “If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes”. Much to my delight, her response was ‘Yes, of course I would’.  Brilliant I thought, when the times right, I’ll propose, safe in the knowledge that I won’t be rejected. 🙂 I know, I’m an old romantic.

Anyway, not long after that we were looking through our favourite magazine, the P&O Cruise Brochure when I pointed out a cruise that went from New Zealand to Singapore that actually included Adelaide (where her Son Matt went to Uni’ for a while and won a big cycle race). I also pointed out that it was likely to be warm (hot) for most, if not all, of the cruise. Better still, it had many, many sea days, which would allow us to rest & relax. It was however quite a long trip extending to close on 23-days. We just knew however that this was the cruise for us. So, we booked it.

Shortly after that when out for a meal in our local, I decided that the time was right and asked her, properly, if she would marry me. To my great relief, she stuck by what she said and agreed. A few drinks later we started to discuss possible dates when almost simultaneously we suggested getting married at sea and where better than when on the cruise round Australia. That was it: a done deal. A wedding at sea it would be, with a party afterwards when we returned back home.

And today, is the day before that long awaited day. I was excited when she accepted my proposal of a proposal. I was excited when she accepted my proposal. I was excited when we both agreed to a wedding at sea. I’m still excited now.

But:

Ever since boarding the ship, Mrs Me has been constantly seeking the sun’s rays soaking, nay, drinking in the sun’s warmth and sitting there with a glazed looked about her and a smile of contentment. For sure, I just knew that Mrs Me would be happy here. And yet, this constant desire to seek out warmth, which brought about an apparent inner peace and self contentment made me wander whether or not everything was as it should be. I began to fear that maybe she was in fact a ‘Visitor’ from ‘V’.  This would also explain why she was happy for me to be getting a little plump: A nice plump meal.

My fears were further reinforced when she started to shed her skin all over the balcony floor. How reptilian I thought. Maybe the marriage has an outcome I was not prepared for. Or:

Maybe I’ve been taking too many tablets with too much whiskey 🙂

Back to the land of reality, I continue to sit on the balcony quietly content in knowing that tomorrow, the title ‘Mrs Me’ will become official. I look forward to seeing that magical dress that was created and fitted within 7-days and 3-fittings. No doubt I’ll never know the true cost but I don’t really care. I look forward to having Jack as my Best Man and witness and Jill from our table to be our second witness. Most of all, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with Mrs Me (her real name’s Debbie by the way).

For those that are interested,  the music I wanted for the ceremony was:

Happiness – Ken Dodd;
Bring Me Sunshine – Morcambe & Wise;
Unchained Melody.

In the end however, we elected for:

Cantata from Fifty Shades of Grey;
Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini;
Unchained Melody.

Until then however, I’m going to enjoy my last day of freedom and drink whiskey without being nagged.

Byeeeeeee.

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

Posted: March 1, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Obviously, the title isn’t true. One of the attractions of cruising, apart of course from the variety of places one can visit in just one trip, is meting up with friends you haven’t yet met, and let’s be honest the worlds is full of such people but cruising seems to be able to bring such friendships to the fore. But, every once in a while something happens to make you think:

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

This morning in Melbourne was just one of those occasions, though the feeling passed by as soon as it came. But what caused such a feeling?

The cause was MyKi, Melbourne’s equivalent to Oyster!

To get into town from the where the boat was parked, we really did need to get a bus and/or tram. To do this we would have to obtain a MyKi card. This would cost $6 for the card(!) and $8 for a days worth of travel. The only place we could get a MyKi card was in the cruise terminal (unless you were prepared to walk all the way into town) and apparently, they only took cash. At this point, it’s worth pointing out that immediately after we had parked our boat, a Holland America boat came in and parked next to us. Each of the two ships held around 2500 passengers. Both ships were scheduled to be in Melbourne from 08:00 to 17:00 (ish). So everybody naturally wanted to get off early to get the most of their time in port. Can you imagine what it’s like when two ships disgorge their passengers together? That’s when I decided:

If it weren’t for passengers, Cruising would be brilliant

Obviously, not all 5000 passengers turned up at once, many went on excursions, many stayed on board and the rest staggered their departure time but nevertheless, queues were an inevitable outcome. After what seemed to me to an outrageously long time, we finally reached the pay desk; were asked if we wanted to pay by cash or card(!); elected for cash and obtained our cards, which, we were told, were valid for 4-years. So, if anybody wants a MyKi for getting round Melbourne any time in the between now and 2018, we have two J

Looking back, it wasn’t really that bad, if it took 20 minutes, it wasn’t really that big a deal.

Partly because of the passengers, Cruising is brilliant.

In due course, our ‘packed to the gunnels’ bus delivered us into town close to the river and train station. As we alighted we were met by a number of red topped tourist advisers who took time to explain on a map where we were and asked if the was anything we anted to see in particular. I think to myself, ‘I’ll get him here’ and asked where the nearest camera shop was. Straight away, he marked it on the map, explained how the Mall was close by and also where we would be able to get the tram back to the ship. He also mentioned that if we got lost or needed more information to look out for other groups of advisers in red tops and hats that are stationed around the town at major intersections. Now that, London, is how to look after your tourists/visitors.

As instructed, we made away along Collins Street and then up Elizabeth Street and sure enough we came across the camera shops and $300 later, I left with a shiny new wide-angle lens. Naturally, having spent so much money on myself, this was a green light to the future Mrs Me to spend at least twice that on shiny sparkly things, but first, she wanted a pair of Ugg Gloves – why not, it was after all [well] below 80°

For the records, the Ugg Gloves were followed by one Australian Opal ring, one Clogau Necklace and one pair of Clogau earrings. No doubt the remaining bracelet will join the collection in due course. She did however treat me to a pair of Calvin Klein socks!

Anyway, back to my lens buying experience. Having sourced the lens and left the shop we continued back towards the river, or that’s what we would have been doing had we left by the same door as the one we entered, which we now know we didn’t. Doh. Eventually, we realized something was amiss; the sun being in the wrong place was the clue. We looked at our map and worked out that we were at the intersection of Collins Street and Queens Street: we therefore continued down Collins Street to the next junction, which was also an intersection with Collins Street and Queens Street. This confirmed it; we were lost, disorientated and confused. Now, I don’t mind admitting that sometimes, I can be a little bit clever. I worked out that the river to be down rather than up the hill so we continued down Collins Street J, until we saw going back up. I gave in. I did what us blokes hate to do. I asked for help. I asked for help from what turned out to be a very helpful traffic warden who said we should cross over, continue down the next left, cut through an arcade, turn right and we would be there.

While in the arcade of course, Mrs Me naturally smelled out a shop with things we needed, like a sterling silver coaster with a koala on it, a glass koala, a postcard with a koala and a pewter koala. Finally, we got out of the arcade and reached the riverside where we now needed a drink in what looked like quite a nice little Italian bar (those that know Mrs Me won’t be too surprised at that). Where we finally persuaded a little Italian Waiter to make a table for two on the Veranda. Our quiet little drink turned into wine, water, pizza and fries. And, very nice it all was. As with all good things, we finished our repast and made our way to the tram stop, stopping the check with people in the red tops and hats that we were going the right. At the tram stop, was a tram travel assistant who kept us up to date with the progress of the tram. As the arrival time drew near, it was clear that passengers from both ships were heading back at the same time. Boarding the tram was a bit like boarding the Northern or Circle Line in the rush hour and we were all on it to the end of the line. This did of course mean that we all arrived at security at the same time. This was however where Mrs Me’s cunning plan fired into action and stopped at the Australian Opal store to purchase said Australian Opal Ring. By which time the crowd was but a few stragglers. And so, on to the ship, up to the cabin, pour a drink and relax before dinner where we announced to our table friends that we were to be married by the Captain and asked if they would be happy to be our witness. Their excitement for us was apparent and jumped at the chance. So much so that they started to work out what they would have wear (more on that after the big day). Dinner itself was itself its normal satisfactory affair before Mrs Me and I retired for a quiet drink in the Crows Nest before retiring.

It was in the Crows Nest that we Met Jack (our future best man and nearly 80 years young) and his sister, Joy (86 years young). They both asked us to join them for a drink to celebrate our forthcoming marriage, as Joy was to be leaving the ship two days before hand. Well, one drink led to another and before we knew it, it was 1 o’clock in the morning and both Jack & Joy were just a little bit tipsy. So we found ourselves escorting two wobbly octogenarians back to their cabin so as to make sure they were both ok.

Then, it was time for bed for ourselves. Next Stop, Adelaide…..

My Last Posting of the Cruise

Posted: December 6, 2013 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
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My last posting of the cruise 😦 – albeit a bit late: the trouble with trying to write the final update is that I’m generally back at work and with a combined 5 hour commute on top of the working day isn’t really conducive to such activities as remembering what happened when in the last two weeks: compounded by the fact that having called at Lisbon on the way home, the last stop, I was to turn around and go back to Lisbon just 5-days later, when the weather was to fantastic; so much so that I was able to eat my lunch on the terrace in a short sleeve shirt. A_n_y_way….

I guess I should start with a warning and an explanation of why I looked a bit different on my return (fatter). I’ll then look back on the cruise overall. Any photos will be added to the gallery in the Places I’ve visited section.

As I write this though I should say that I’m feeling very grumpy because my cruise is over and I’m now pining for the Adonia, Arcadia, Aurora, Oceana or the Oriana. But fear not, in less than 80 days, the Arcadia shall be my new home for a new adventure. Ooohh, I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, back to my new shape: what has happened to me? And why? ….

Well, I do have a theory: and that that is that one of the peculiarities of cruising, especially sea cruising is that the salt-water air has a tendency to reduce the elasticity of one’s clothing thus making them appear and feel so much tighter. I can think of no other explanation, save that of course of over eating, which I find hard to believe.

I do admit, my eating habits have changed, slightly. I still have breakfast, but then I always have done. I still have lunch, but then I always have done. I still have dinner, but then I always have done. I have no other meals, and that’s the truth. But it would be so easy to do otherwise; just take a look at a sample of meal / dining options on board the Oceana:

06:30 - 07:00 - Continental Breakfast;
07:00 - 10:30 – Breakfast;
10:30 - 11:45 – Brunch;
11:00 - 18:00 - Grill food to order;
12:00 - 15:00 – Lunch;
15:00 - 17:00 - Afternoon Snacks;
17:15 - 17:45 - Children's Tea;
18:00 - 21:30 - Buffet Dinner;
18:30 - 22:30 - Restaurant Dinner;
22:30 - 03:30 - Late Snacks;
03:30 – 06:30 – Looks like you fend for yourselves.

There are other options in and amongst these but I suspect that this is enough to give a taster (no pun intended) of the temptations I faced each day and yet I stuck to my three meals a day. So what’s changed, why have I grown so much? Well, the devil is in the detail so lets start with breakfast: normally, it’s toast & marmite; I still have this but now I’m additionally tempted with freely available fried breakfast ingredients such as eggs (fried and/or scrambled), fried bread, mushrooms, beans, liver, black pudding, White Pudding (whatever that is), sausages, bacon, kippers, Corned Beef Hash, Kedgeree, Porridge, Waffles; I think there might also have been fruit and yoghurt! I just can’t help myself and so I find myself doing just that – helping myself to all of it; though I did cut out the liver and black (and white) pudding :-). For lunch, our intention was to always skip lunch but that never happened. For the first few days I would limit myself to just curry, chips and rice, but strictly no dessert. On a couple of occasions, having arrived back from being ashore, it was necessary to use the all afternoon grill and make do with fish & chips (always available and cooked to order), but still no dessert. The last few days however we limited lunch to just a couple of small rolls and just the tiniest smallest cake we could find. For dinner however well, I had no chance. There was a selection of starters; then soups; then the main course; then dessert, which I nearly always skipped; then cheese and biscuits; then petit fours (sweets), all washed down with a nice bottle of wine, followed by a liquor and coffee. Other than this, I think I did rather well, and yet, as with many other passengers, I seem to have put on weight, I know not how much but it feels like a lot: even my next size up (contingency) trousers [with active waistband] feel a little snug.

And to think, I wanted to make the name ‘Podge’ ironic. 🙂

So, what did we / I do to combat this unprovoked attack of apparent gluttony? Well, true to our plans, we did do our 3.2 laps of the Oceana every day we were at sea (except the last day when we did just 2 laps cos I was cold & grumpy). When in a port, we figured that the walking ashore would compensate for the loss of laps on those days. Then of course there was the Gym. I seem to remember buying a shirt from the on-board shop especially to go to the gym and burn off some of the [excess] fat. Well I went down and did 15 minutes on the exercise bike and never went back. I just never seemed to find the time, what with meals, laps, after lap drinks, after lunch drinks, fiveseys, etc. Then of course there’s the shows to see, the quizzes to take part in, the talks on gem stones [for Mrs Me] with free champagne, shopping in the on board shops, meeting with our fellow passengers to exchange stories of the times we had since we last exchanged stories, seeking out ships photographers to get those special photo’s and, listening to the Captains twice daily updates (a particular favourite of Mrs Me). Of course, writing takes up some of my time! Days on a cruise ship are just too damned short.

So, the big questions is; did I enjoy my Birthday Cruise? Of course I did. Possibly, I enjoyed this cruise a little too much and will have to pay a penance [of diet and exercise] when I get home.

The Arrival
The cruise started almost as soon as you arrive at the terminal. As you drive up towards the entrance, people just turn up and take your luggage off of you, somebody takes your car and all you have to do is walk to the check in, make your way through security and onto the ship and cabin, safe in the knowledge that your luggage will arrive as if by magic. So much more civilised than flying.

I have to say, being upgraded to a mini-suite was a great start to the cruise. Not being told until you arrive at the check in was even better. It really was a wonderful surprise, trouble is, both Mrs Me and I want a mini-suite every time now: they just have to be worth the extra money. Then of course there was the welcome bottle of champagne and box of chocolates. Fab. Oh, I nearly forgot to mention, with a mini suite comes five o’clock canapés such as strawberries dipped in chocolate, deep fried prawns or even smoked salmon with caviar. Obviously not altogether: just a different culinary experience each day.

When we booked the cruise, we deliberately selected one with a large number of sea days. This was to ensure that Mrs Me got lots of rest. The plan worked, Mrs Me rested, a lot. Better still, the layout of the cabin was such that she didn’t need to get out of bed to see out of the floor to ceiling window as she was virtually next to it so, while His Podgeness made and delivered the morning tea to Mrs Me she would be able to, and did, just lay there and view whatever island we had arrived at, or simply see the sea. Even on my birthday I made and delivered her tea. But, she’s worth it. And anyway, it allowed me to sit out on ‘my’ balcony and drink my coffee in peace :-).

Places We Visited:
• Madeira;
• La Palma;
• Gran Canaria;
• Lanzarote;
• Lisbon.

Madeira
This is a place we have visited before and having previously taken an excursion to see the island, the lace factories, the churches (the boys loved that bit – not) and of course the Madeira Wine manufacturing and drinking process we elected to do our own thing. Doing our own thing meant walking into the town of Funchal and simply exploring the town, the shops (obviously) and gardens: in particular, the botanical garden which were located at the top of a great big hill: a huge big hill: nay, a mountain. The only way up was by mountain goat, bus, helicopter, donkey, piggy back from Mrs Me or Cable Car. We chose the latter. Well done Mrs Me: I know how you hate heights and I love you even more for doing it. Only trouble is, you spoiled it by making me walk the Botanical Gardens from top to bottom, then she made me walk all the way back up again. Now, if you imagine the Streets of San Francisco all jungleised, narrowed, cobbled and wibbly wobbly, well that was what it was like. Yet I made it and, for somebody with COPD (Codgers Old Puffing Disease) I reckon I did quite well, and what did I get as a reward? One teeny weeny beer. I didn’t make a fuss though, much….. Then, it was the ride back down, you know, down the hill I’d just walked down then back up, by cable car. We might as well have stayed at the bottom of the gardens. But then, we wouldn’t have been able to look down into the houses and windows of everybody as we glided down on the car: I can’t believe how many people leave making their beds so late; tsk, tsk.

La Palma
La Palma, La Palma. Oh La Palma, I [we] just loved La Palma. Having not booked an excursion, we were free to do as we wish, or more accurately as I was told I wished by Mrs Me. So, after a particularly late & lazy, but comprehensive, breakfast we decided to wonder into town, look at the shops: what is it about shops that attracts Mrs Me? I can understand wanting to look at local crafts and the like but she gets really animated if she finds a Zara. Anyway, the first thing we did look for was a fridge magnet: we always try to get one from each port / location we visit (abroad or the UK). It didn’t take long to find a nice little shop full of proper local products including fridge magnets made to reflect the local geography. The shop itself was run by the most wonderful little lady who couldn’t speak a word of English, while we couldn’t speak a word of Spanish and yet she told, and we listened intently, the story of the Island, the story behind the marking on the magnet and so many other things besides. We know this because she kept drawing things on a piece of wrapping paper and taking us through an archeological book about La Palma. We wished we spoke Spanish, we wish she spoke English. We both wished, almost at the same time, we could adopt this woman and take her own. She was so lovely and obviously proud of her shop and products within. And all we bought was the solitary magnet. If you go to La Palms, find the shop.

Moving on we found a bar, what a surprise, and with it being so hot we elected to sit and watch the world go by while imbibing the local beer: Nice. As we looked left and right at all the neighboring bars we noted that every one of them was full of people doing exactly the same as us; and virtually every one of them was from the Oceana.
Thirst quenched, we continued along the front before turning inland to find, wait for it, lots of shops, all in the quaintest of streets where no traffic shall run with many bars set out in the middle of this quaint street and shops that even I approved of, though this have been because of the senoritas running such shops: they were lovely. Ouch, why does my ear hurt again? We continued, with throbbing eat, to browse and even buy things, mainly for Mrs Me, until the shops started to close for the siesta: 13:30 to 17:00 is a pretty good siesta! So, we found another bar whereby we succumbed and took time out for another beer then guess what, the blooming bar shut for its own siesta! Still, at least we got our beers in first. Then, it was back to the ship for a late lunch (fish & chips), a nice Merlot and a bit of a sleep before our traditional five o’clock cocktail (fiveseys).

Gran Canaria
We arrived at Gran Caria, dead on time as usual, but to what was a relatively overcast day with drizzle, sometime mizzle, drifting across the harbour. Interspersed with the sun peaking out from behind the occasional cloud, the rainbow effects, often-double rainbows, were stunning. Looking out from the balcony, they seemed to drop down into the sea directly opposite me: It felt as though I could reach out and touch them.
Gran Canaria was to see our first excursion and one where I thought I had been stitched up. I thought it was a 4-hour shopping trip whereby we are driven to the town and dropped off and left to fend for ourselves until we were picked up again. Oh how wrong I was. Mrs Me had played another blinder and picked out probably the best excursion on offer.

Given the weather conditions, we played safe and took with us coats and brollies, found our coach and of we went for a 50 minute ride across the island to the other side where there was no rain, no clouds, no rainbows, just wall to wall sunshine: I was so glad I wore long trousers, shirt and coat. Within half an hour of arriving at what turned out to be the Little Venice of Gran Canaria we found the most stunning of beaches inhabited by some pretty stunning ladies and some ladies who far less dressed than me. They weren’t even wearing a vest; unfortunately, most of these ones were of the less stunning variety ☹ Ouch, leave my ear alone. I must have looked like Roy Cropper compared to some of these sun-tanned beauties, but did it bother me? Of course not (it did really). Mind you, I did cheer up a bit when we espied a shop offering Fish Pedicures. Have you ever seen a Fish Pedicure? Well, when Mrs Me has one, you don’t see it, you hear it. I’ve never heard I scream like that before (much to my shame ☹, ouch, leave my ear alone). Anyway, to see the look of joy and pleasure on her face (no, I’m not going to say anything), was ab absolute delight.

As we explored the town / marina I quickly realized that this was not a shopping trip, but a visit to one of what must have been one of the most delightful locations on the island. As we wondered round, looking at the boats of all shapes and sizes in the harbour; the yellow submarine [sic] up on the jetty, looking for a suitable bar, we (I) espied a podium dancer. Yep, that’s right a podium dancer, dancing in the open-air in the middle of the afternoon. I simply had to avert my gaze. I really did. Why? Well the podium dancer was dancing along to songs sung by a geriatric Engelbert Humperdinck wannabee (actually, he was quite good); while the podium dance was (I’m guessing) was his geriatric partner dancing ballroom type dances in the bandstand which was in effect a podium. I definitely needed a drink after that. And then , it was time for the coach back to the ship; fish & chips; merlot; snooze then fiveseys.

Lanzarote
Today was the big day, the day that His Podgeness hit 60, years that is. Yay, I proved them all wrong. They all said I wouldn’t make old bones. The vets (sorry, I meant doctors) said I wouldn’t see 50 let alone 60; well here I am, alive and well. So there!

Anyway, as it was my birthday we decided not to commit ourselves to any excursions and deliberately have a quiet morning with a long lazy breakfast before receiving my birthday gifts, and obviously as it was a 60th birthday, such gifts were expected to be special, no cop out presents this time. But I needn’t have worried; Mrs. Me did me proud. I got a lovely shiny mini iMac in the guise of Mac Book Air: it’s lovely and it’s on my Mini iMac that I’m writing this update. I got other things as well but nothing for disclosure here ☺.

After the lazy breakfast and gifting, we went ashore for a walk into town to view the shops and bars. After a 20 minute walk I came to the conclusion that the town of Arrecife was a more than a little bit grotty (I’m sorry Arrecife, but much work is needed). Having said that, it does look as though a great deal of work is being done to the Marina and cruise terminal so the future looks good. Seems like a pretty good excuse to come back, methinks ☺.

Anyway, apart from the suggestion that we went to see the fort on the sea front, because apparently we might be able to see the sea (Wow, how cool would that have been, seeing the sea. Lets face it, we’d seen so little of sea of late!), the trip into town was pretty uneventful. So having avoided the need to see the sea, we made our way back to the ship, stopping at a bar on the way for a couple beers, of course. Having made it to back to the ship, we barely had time to collect our thoughts when it was time for the sail-away and an obligatory glass of champagne ☺. All too soon however, it was time for fiveseys. And so we had to move from the Sun Deck to our Bar aka: The Yacht & Compass. Here we were met by me new girlfriends (ouch, me ear hurts again) who gave me a great big kiss and told the band that it was my birthday and I had sit there while they played Happy Birthday. Time once more for fizzy pop before retiring, though by now, it was no longer my birthday – Boo.

Lisbon
After a whole day at sea, we finally made land again and after heading up the River Tagus we finally berthed at where the new cruise terminals are being established. By all accounts, the intention is that the terminal(s) will be able to accept 12 cruise ships at any one time; that would be some sight though how the infrastructure will cope with coach excursions from 12 ships at a time (I saw the impact on Southampton last year with the 175th Grand Event when all off the P&O fleet was in port – I was lucky enough to have a cabin the Oceana for that as well). Still, another reason to come back.

I’ve been to Lisbon before but this was the first time that I had visited when it was cold, very cold, and even with a hint of rain [unlike my return visit 5-days later through work commitments, when it was blue sky with not a cloud in sight].
This time, we decided to visit a little town called Obidos, a small medieval town, on a hill of course, with tine, tiny cobbled streets that seemed to do nothing but go up or down, and of course I had to do both, if only to keep Mrs Me happy (phew, she didn’t hear that one). Ouch; looks she did after all.

I have to say, that Obidos is well worth a visit: to drink Port out of chocolate cups is an experience to die for. Their cups of hot chocolate are to die for, and if I climb up any more cobbled streets I probably will do.

After that, it was time to head back to the ship, whereupon we left Lisbon with a great big typical British send off from the sun deck with loads of Union Jacks and good old traditional British sing song songs. Then, it was sulky time, for we knew that the next port of call would be Southampton and thus the end of the cruise, Boo. I shouldn’t moan really, we had a great time, even though I now have a cauliflower ear, though I know not why.

As and when I get the chance, I’ll add pictures to the travel section. Then, the countdown starts to the next ‘special’ cruise from New Zealand to Singapore. Yay.

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