The Adventures of Podge & Tubbs

We arrived at St Petersburg in the early hours as we were ‘enjoying’ an early breakfast before were to go on our first tour to Peterhof Palace.

First impression of St Petersburg? I don’t want to live here. It looks so soulless with loads of high rise blocks of flats and featureless landscapes. It was just dreary and grey brightened only by the bright blue sky and promised temperatures of 27c+.

The next challenge was Russian immigration. I’ve met some surly immigration officials before but none like these. We all had to queue to go though one at a time and pass our passport and papers through a little hole in the kiosk like a child at a sweetie shop. They then checked the passport in every detail, checked  the immigration papers, in every detail.  Cross checked passport with papers in every detail, typed something in on something in their secure little kiosk they were sitting in, stamped the passport and returned it with one half of the immigration for then pressed a switch to let us through the gate. I tried to smile at them, I tried to say hello, I even said thank you but nothing came back. Still, at least I was through. There were 34 on our coach so you can imagine how long it took, even with three kiosks running.

Now then, remember I said that they gave back one half of the immigration paper.Well, we had been told that we must not lose this as to do so would incur a penalty and we would have to give them a full account of what we had been doing, where we had been and how / why we had come to lose it. We didn’t lose it. I guarded those items close than my own wallet.

Having made it through Passport Control, we made our way onto our coach. Not sure when the coach was built but I am fairly confident that both Debbie and I had been born so it wasn’t too old! Actually, it wasn’t that bad, just a bit musty and cramped but it did have air conditioning, of sorts.

So, once we were all sitting comfortably we set off through the city of St Petersburg while our guise gave us a running commentary about the city, and how it was networked with waterways and believed itself to be the Venice of the North and also the City of Love. I shall simply bow to the superior knowledge of our guide on that one. Anyway, we carried on through the City of Love until we at last reached the Peterhof Palace Museum.

I won’t give any details about the Palace except to say that it was originally built as a two storey three wing building before some woman called Catherine came along and another storey and two wings (one either side) and the proceeded to decorate it with the most amazing bling one could imagine. Unfortunately, taking photographs inside the building is absolutely forbidden, also, you can’t touch anything and you have to wear overshoes to protect the floor. And, just in case you had errant ways, there was a surly looking woman in every room and on every corner ready to pounce on any wrongdoer. It is however well worth the visit: It is stunning beyond stunning.

Moving outside there are the gardens with the most amazing statues and ornaments around the most fantastic fountain set up I’ve seen (at least I’ve got some ideas for the paddock).

Anyway, after all this we had to head back to the ship for a late lunch before we had to get ready for an early dinner before heading back out for an evening boat trip along the waterways of St Petersburg where I sampled some Russian Vodka [it’s very nice and very cheap).

After we returned from the trip we ‘retired’, again, to the Observatory Lounge for a couple of rather large brandy’s and some light snacks. And then it was off to bed. Tomorrow, still in St Petersburg, we go to visit the Cathedral of Spilt Blood but at least it’s a late start.

Maybe, I’ll lose some weight tomorrow.

Go to St Petersburg (Next Day) >>>>

First of all, having already put the clocks forward 1-hour thus losing an hours sleep, we have to put them forward again so we lose sleep one more time. Lack of sleep always seems to be make me tired so this morning, I had to have a full English Breakfast again with the promise that I would have no lunch.

Anyway, today was a big day for everybody as we were to enjoy a day-time transit of the Kiel Canal which slices right through Germany taking us from the North Sea into the Baltic Sea so saving ships having to go round the top and cutting off 250 miles.

The Canal, which actually runs from Brunsbottel to Keil through the land of Schleswih-Holsteing which is the part of Germany adjoining Denmark. It’s hard to say when the Kiel Canal actually came into being as it originally started as the Eider Can in the late 1700’s but was deemed too small as ships grew in size and so after a great deal of work spanning 12 years, the canal was widened and became the Kaiser Wilhelm I Canal in 1895. Again it ‘became’ too small and had to widened again until it reached it’s current size in the 1960’s. Today the canal is more commonly known as the Kiel Canal (with locks at either end), which is now 97 Kilometres in length, 12 metres deep and 164 meters wide.

Obviously, there’s more to be said about the canal but there are far better sources than anything I could hope to write, and anyway, I’m on HOLIDAY – WooHoo.

So, we reached the first lock at around 06:30 (ish) and made our way through and into the Canal and we proceeded to sail through Germany. The whole transit took about 9-hours to complete and on the way were priviliged to witness the most beautiful backdrops and even had the chance to have a nose into people back gardens as went by 🙂

It was weird as we sailed by looking at and waving at all the people on the banks and in their gardens and even on the bridges. Being a Sunday, all the locals made of most of the, by now, glorious weather, and came down to watch the cruise ship sailing through the fields and past the gardens, and they waved at us. The experience was surreal with everybody waving at us and us waving at everybody.

Anyway, while all this was happening, Debbie, Nick and Peggy took themselves off to play Dolphin racing (!) and Bingo. They drew even on the Dolphins but at the Bingo, and much to the annoyance of all the wrinklies, Nick managed to win the full house game and won £66, which was paid out in £1 coins. All the more galling, he borrowed the entry fee from his Mum. The money very quickly found its way into his safe.

As intimated earlier, the weather improved and turned into a glorious day made all the better by the fact that our balcony was on the sunny side of the ship so we just sat out there enjoying a drink or tow, as you do, and watched Germany and its people drift by. I have to say however that as we were sailing along we kept getting these aromas of BBQ’s which did make us a little hungry and wishing we out having our own BBQ.

After a while however , I worked out that the BBQ aroma was with us, All_The_Time which go me thinking that maybe we should check out the sun deck at the top of the ship. So we did, and lo and behold there they were having a BBQ. So, we tucked into Spare Ribs, Chips, Cakes and Beer before finally returning to wallow on our balcony once more and again watch the world drift by.

All to quickly, we through the canal and out into the Baltic Sea where we caught up with an MSC Cruise Ship and followed her for a couple of hours by which time we needed to get ready for Dinner: we were after all starting to get hungry again as it had by now been a couple of hours since afternoon tea where croissants with ham and cheese followed by sticky buns was the order of the day.

Before got ready however, Debbie and I decided we would walk four laps of the ship, which is 1-mile, after which we rewarded ourselves with a nice glass of wine for Debby and Brandy for yours truly. It was at this point I looked down at my ankles and noticed that they were more than a little swollen. I pointed this out to Debbie who gleefully advised me that I had Canckles: confirmation that I am rapidly becoming one of the wrinklies 😦

I so needed to eat to cheer myself up, so off to Dinner we went, just the four courses today. After this we went to a show where we saw the most brilliant all round variety entertainer, Brett Kite. Singing, comedy and illusions, he we was excellent: I would pay money to see him. After that, it was off to the Observatory Lounge for a couple of rather large brandy’s as night rolled in.

And so, off to bed. Tomorrow brings with it a full day at sea in what promises to be a gloriously sunny and calm day (see pickie below). Better still, we have wine tasting in the afternoon (normally at these events, Debbie finds a wine she likes then spends the rest of the session tasting it).

The days get longer

Maybe, I’ll try to lose the weight tomorrow.

Having weighed myself in the Gym and aghast to see that my weight was now just under 16 stone, I vowed that I would try to lose weight, and lose weight soon. 🙂

So, after a good nights sleep, we made for a leisurely breakfast (09:30) in the Spey Restaurant – Full English for me of course after which we all went for a stroll round the on board shops. Now tell me, who on earth is going to go on a 2-week cruise to the Baltic’s and then spend £27,000 on a Faberge Egg. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that it isn’t going to be me.

Weather wise, the sky was grey, grey and grey with a bit of rain and a force 6 wind. The direction of the ship in relation to the wind / waves however meant that it was actually difficult to accept that yes, we were actually at sea: It was SO still. As the day went on though, although the sky remained grey, the rain stopped and it did ‘seem’ a bit brighter and even a bit warmer.

Debbie introduced Nick & her Mum (Peggy) to ‘Dolphin’ racing, bet £4, won £4, bet £4, won £0. Still, it was surprisingly good fun. In the afternoon, Nick introduced Peggy to Bingo and won nothing. In between Debbie and Peggy had their nails done and I sat on the balcony and read my book: We do have a full and active time on these boats you know.

Oh, did I mention afternoon Tea – dainty sandwiches and scrummy cakes. This is timed just right – being half way between lunch and dinner. 🙂

So far, there has been little opportunity for photographs which is just as well as I haven’t yet worked out how to transfer them onto my laptop (forgot my card reader / cable) but I will overcome this and photos will follow.

Evening bring the infamous Captains Cocktail Party where everybody gets to dress up in their best suits and frocks a has the chance to meet Captain Olav Sovdsnes and partake in some champagne – Nice. Then it’s off to Dinner – Yum Yum. Tonight however is bonus night as we are graced with the presence of Food & Beverages Manager (Michael Emmenegger) for dinner, which means that the wine and after dinner aperitif is courtesy of Fred Olsen – Result. The initial reaction of course when an Officer of the ship sits down with you for dinner is that you have behave and listen to small talk. But no, the conversation was varied and interesting: as a result we were one of the last tables to leave the restaurant, oops.

After dinner we ‘retired’ to the Observatory Lounge for a couple of rather large brandy’s which were accompanied by a variety of cakes and  chocolates. Yummy….

And so, off to bed. Tomorrow brings with it the Kiel Canal.

Maybe, I’ll try to lose the weight tomorrow.