Archive for the ‘P&O’ Category

Crossing The Line

Posted: April 13, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Having left Bali, we set a kind of NNW direction to Singapore. This journey was to include two full days at sea during which time, we would be crossing the Equator. On cruise ships, this ceremony is conducted so as to formally request King Neptune’s permission to move from one half of the hemisphere (in our case the southern half) to the other half (that’ll be the northern half 🙂 ). Naturally, everybody was keen to ‘Cross the Line’ as for so long new, we had been upside down and desperately wanted to get to our own half and once more be the right way up. I dare the Aussies might have felt the other way round but this is all about me, me me.

The ceremony of Crossing the Line is an initiation rite in the British Merchant Navy, Dutch merchant navy, Royal Navy, U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Marine Corps, Russian Navy, and other navies that commemorates a sailor’s first crossing of the Equator. The tradition may have originated with ceremonies when passing headlands, and become a “folly” sanctioned as a boost to morale, or have been created as a test for seasoned sailors to ensure their new shipmates were capable of handling long rough times at sea. Sailors who have already crossed the Equator are nicknamed (Trusty/Honorable) Shellbacks, often referred to as Sons of Neptune; those who have not are nicknamed (Slimy) Pollywogs (in 1832 the nickname griffins was noted). Source: – Wikipedia – Visit Wikipedia Line Crossing Ceremony for far more detail 🙂

Having crossed the equator a couple of time now, I suppose I could technically call myself a Shellback but whatever I am, the ceremony is always great fun, noisy, raucous and messy. Believe me, it’s messy. So messy that they have to shut the pool, drain it, clean it, clean it again, clean it some more then refill the pool (not with a hosepipe -see last photo – as Mrs Me believed).

There are numerous variations of the ceremony, one where an elected passenger is found guilty of nefarious crimes and sentenced to all sorts of punishments such as disembowelling (sausages, spaghetti, etc., ‘removed, from victim and tossed onto the deck / pool), beheading (not really, but lots of goo covering head), and other unsavoury deeds including the covering of miscreants (normally those who have overeaten on the cruise) with ice cram and chocolate sauce, etc.

We on the Arcadia however are so much more civilised and opted for less gruesome activities. These were split initially into three challenges between the ships officers and ships crew. It was at this point that the Captain quoted some ancient sea faring rule that dictated that the Captain must remain in charge of his ship at all times and as such he would not be allowed to take part in any pool activities. How could he, after all, run a ship when sinking and drowning in goo while in his uniform. So with that, his deputy for the proceedings appointed, the ships doctor put on alert (he’s the one in the blue gown with suspiciously looking blood stains all over) the proceedings begun.

  • Challenge 1 – One member from each team had to dive into the pool and extract as many items of cutely, that had previously been thrown in, in 20 seconds. Results:
    • Crew – Loads
    • Officers – None
  • Challenge 2 – A relay swim of two lengths consisting of 4 members of each team, with a bucket on their heads and sitting in a lifebelt ring. Results:
    • Crew – lost – one member fell off while another ended up in the Officers Lane.
    • Officers – Won by a mile.
  • Challenge 3 – A relay swim of two lengths (wearing a boiler jacket, which had to be swapped each time) consisting of 4 members of each team. Trying to get a wet boiler suit off then onto the next swimmer didn’t look too easy, though it did look quite pleasing on the eye for some no doubt :-). Results:
    • Crew – lost – last girl couldn’t get out the suit in time for last guy to put it on.
    • Officers – Won by a mile.

Following this, there was the hearing by Neptune after which he was to judge whether the ships officers were worthy enough to be allowed to switch hemispheres. As they had won the challenge overall, they were indeed worthy. Before such permission was granted however, each had to pledge allegiance by kissing the fish, which didn’t look too fresh while the losers had to pay the penance, along with selected passengers, of being coated in runny jelly, blancmange, gravy and who knows what else. Needless to say this descended into absolute mayhem when everybody was coating everybody, even watching cruisers were caught in the cross fire: not me though, I was sensible and hid behind Mrs Me. And then, it was all over: Neptune granted his permission and strutted around greeting all those present before pushing them all into the pool. This included the Captain. Not sure how many Captains would have actually allowed that so, way to go Captain Aseem Hashmi.

With the conclusion, the mess now obvious and the surfaces under feet way to slippy for passengers, the pool was closed and out came the army of pool cleaners who had the somewhat unenviable task of cleaning everything up and refilling the pool. All of course overseen by a big bossy sear gent major type person who stood there and barked commands / instructions; he was scary.

With that, Mrs Me and I returned to the Bar, avoiding The Fish, which was being paraded around the deck for all passengers to ‘kiss’, and settled down for a glass or two of our favourite fruit based drink (Rioja for me, Rosè for Mrs Me) before preparing for dinner. Life at sea can be gruelling.

Next Stop: Singapore…..

Bali – The Land of Mystery

Posted: April 6, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Well, it was a Land of Mystery to us as we had never been to Indonesia and so didn’t know what to expect. For my part I had conjured up in my mind images of exotic sandy beaches, palm trees, beautifully dressed women, crystal clear waterfalls cascading into small lagoons captured in an oasis of trees and bamboo beyond which there would be the rice fields and coconut palms. The only thing I didn’t include in my imagined images was a scantily clad Bounty Bar girl leaning on a plan tree eating a Bounty Bar: but that was only because Mrs Me would have found out and clipped my ear again. And anyway, the bounty bar advert was filmed on Saona Island off the Dominican Republic.  Anyway, what was / is Bali really like?

First of all; Bali is a small island , and the smallest province of Indonesia. Bali can be found sitting between the Java Sea and the Indian Ocean and just 8 degrees south of the equator (so quite warm) and surrounded by coral reefs with white sandy beaches in the south and black sandy beaches elsewhere. Approximately, the island is 95 miles wide and 69 miles deep (taken at its extremities). This was an island full of eastern promise: just like a Bounty Bar! 🙂 – I like Bounty Bars by the way, especially the plain ones…….

There was however one thing that bothered me about our visit: –

Tendering – I hate tendering; I hate it with a passion. I’ve had a couple of awful experiences on such craft the most frightening was on our return back from Mayreau – on the same day as the dreadful Indian Ocean Tsunami in 2004. Anchored off shore, we all headed for the tenders to claim prime positions on the beautiful sandy beaches but not too far away from the bar or the BBQ that the cruise ships staff always set up for us. Having secure our place in the tender we set off for the island, a trip no longer than 10-minutes. Off the tender we got and it was  ‘all charge for the beach’ to claim our spot with our towels then over to the bar for our first drink of the day. As we settled down and watched the waves crashing against the long unspoilt sandy beach littered only with several hundred cruise dwellers, we noticed that this year, the waves seemed to be bigger than normal and were getting bigger as the day went on. One poor woman was even bowled over by one of the waves and only managed to get ashore with the help of two or three other fellow passengers. This was our cue to return to the ship. The trip back was bumpy to say the least.  Once we reached the ship however, bumpy didn’t begin to describe it. Repeated attempts to secure to the ship so that we could get off failed: We we went back out into open water and bounced around while the ship turned to shield us from the waves. It helped a bit it was still very bumpy. Sitting there in this tender, which, for those that don’t know is one of the lifeboats, we were going up and down next to the ship with a rise and fall of a good 2 meters. The tender slammed against the ship’s pontoon with an almighty crack, everybody let out some sort of noise and we tried again. We went up, we went down, we moved away, we moved back, going up and down, side to side backwards and forwards. Eventually however, they secured the tender to the ship and one by one we were almost dragged out of the tender onto the ship. From there, we went to the bar. I still believe to this day that the Tsunami made its presence known even in the Caribbean.

The size of the Island of Bali, and its facilities, and the size of the ship meant that we had to anchor off shore and tender to the harbour side. Then came the next bit. We were to anchor 3-miles out which meant that the journey would be about 30 minutes. And so, on that morning, I arose early so that I could sit out on the balcony with two cups of nice freshly made coffee and watch as we sailed towards the Island and eventually to our anchorage (that’s yet another nautical term :-)). The morning was warm, very warm, around 76f but with a slight haze over the island shielding what is undoubtedly a beautiful island and masking what I believe to be it highest mountain, Mount Agung  which is still an active volcano though currently quite idle thank goodness.

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Now, although the picture is quite hazy, the sea can be seen to be nice and calm and all the evidence (weather forecasts) suggested that it would remain that way so I felt more at ease and just knew that today was going to be a good day. There’s no twist here, it was a good day.

As the ship dropped its anchor, which is just a great big hook, Mrs Me and I went for breakfast – Yes, Mrs Me had actually risen from her pit by this time and broke the peaceful solitude I was trying to enjoy with a “Where’s my Tea” to which I scurried back into the cabin to quickly make her early morning tea so that she would once again become the nice Mrs Me that I know and love rather than the grouchy bed monster.

Having breakfasted and readied ourselves, we made our way to the theatre area from where we were called to the Tender, in batches of 100 or so. These tenders hold a lot of people, even more if it’s used as a real lifeboat. Once aboard, we set off for what turned out out to be a really pleasant 30 minute boat ride As we passed all sorts of craft, from teeny weeny one man fishing boats to massive motor yachts  we moved ever closer to the shore. As we did we passed a whole line of fishermen standing chest-high in the sea fishing, hence the term fisherman :-). Unfortunately, I was stuck inside the tender and getting a picture wasn’t practical (a good reason to return methinks). Eventually, we made land and we all made our way ashore to be greeted by traditional (young) Balinese Dancers and two very lovely Balinese Ladies.

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Mrs Me and I (having been dragged away from the lovely young ladies by the ear) quickly located our tour guide and coach. Boarding the vehicle we were soon reminded that the general size of Balinese people is a little smaller than us Europeans especially the old fat one that’s writing this. Unless of course, the bus we had was an old school bus. In either case, the leg room between sets in front and our own was minimal. Luckily, for Mrs Me and Me that is, we are able to commandeer two sets each so we were at least able to spread out a little.

Once all aboard, we set off, with the tour guide introducing himself and the driver and explained the itinerary which he supported by giving us all a map of the island with the days route drawn in. The plan was to first visit a traditional weaving ‘factory’ where we would be able to see how cloth and subsequent garments were actually made: from here we were to visit a temple and old court house before going to see a typical Balinese home and finishing with some shopping time in Ubud where we were promised access to much treasure such as paintings, tapestry and intricate carvings, and of course fridge magnets.

On our way to our first port of call we were astounded at the sheer volume of mopeds on the streets, they were without doubt, the transport of choice and could be seen being used for transporting the whole family on one bike, even livestock tied across the back, sacks of who knows what, fishing rods, fish, etc. Once in while however one did go by with just a solitary rider; how inefficient, I thought.

Eventually, we reached the weaving factory (4-coaches had already arrived before us so it was all a bit of a jostle for a while. Once corralled like a her of sheep, we were shepherded into the back of the complex to view the old style spinning wheels and weaving things and looms – I don’t know what they’re called, I’m a bloke after all. What the created however and the ‘apparent ease’ ion which they did it was quire remarkable.

The best bit though was an old car with an old parked in front. It felt just like being in Cuba, or it would have done, if I’d ever been to Cuba, which I haven’t so I don’t really know what I’m talking about, but you know what I mean.

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Next port of call was an old temple. Now in fact, the old temple was actually called Klungkung Kertagosha, a building that contained floating pavilion, and the Royal Court of Justice. Again, we were bus number 5 and so once more we were here’d together before being taken into the complex trying to avoid the myriad of strew sellers who sold everything imaginable, except fridge magnets, all for 1-dollar: our guide did advise us though that once negotiations started, the 1-dollar actually became 10-dollars from which you would need to barter down. We skipped by them and made it unscathed and made our way around to look at the amazing buildings and artistry within.

It was now all aboard for the drive though Ubud, spotting the wild monkeys climbing over peoples cars and onto visit a typical Balinese home. Initially, we overshot it as the driver went straight by obviously missing such an unobtrusive family home. Realising in time however, he turned the bus round during which time all other traffic continued to manoeuvre round the bus as we ourselves were trying to a U-Turn. Eventually, the driver found it and turned the bus into the driveway. Now I’m not a cynic by any means ( 🙂 ) but this typical Balinese home had a coach park that could take at lest 6 buses, we were the fifth to arrive and there was another behind us, it had a massive shop, three dance halls, a carving centre and many other buildings. Nevertheless, it was a fascinating place where we were treated to a display of young children learning the traditional dance moves and the music, while others were displaying the carving abilities. Ten it was off to the shop for Mrs Me to buy something, anything, she just had have something that hand made by these little carving men, hmmmmm.

Time now for the shops.

We’d heard much about where we were going but I can’t help feeling that where we went wasn’t where we were going. We eventually parked up in a small car park and were advised that the local market was just down the high street on the right where we would be able find and barge =r for many locally produced goods, or if we wanted to, have a beer or soft drink. On our way however, we were accosted by a never ending sting of street vendors offering their produce, fans, belts, things, for 1-dollar.  We eventually made the market which was in fact a string of tat shops. We did however find some suitable fridge magnets, so we made our selection and paid the man and headed back to the coach park. On the way, Mrs Me saw a woman sitting down in the kerb with her little girl of about 3-years old, selling fans. Mrs Me took out all our Balinese Money and gave it to her in exchange for a fan. The woman was dumfounded but happy and Mrs Me was happy too so this meant that I was allowed to happy also. See, I knew today would a good day.

At the allotted time, we all boarded the bus for our trip back to the port where we would once more have that 30-minute tender back to the ship. As it happened, there was little cause for worry. OK, it was a bit choppier but given what we’ve faced in the past, this was nothing and it need the two attempts to tie ourselves to the ship for us to all get off with relative ease. Mind you, we were glad we weren’t using the ship that was actually in port.

Yes, Today had been a good day, we had seen Bali, we had enjoyed Bali, we would happily return. Bali was good.

Now, where’s the bar.

 

 

Perth – The Final Frontier

Posted: March 30, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Perth was our next advertised port of call. Our visit to Perth wasn’t actually so. The port is Freemantle from where one can get to Perth. Perth is a place we never went to, so I suppose, Perth wasn’t really our next port of call after all: it was Freemantle. But Perth was advertised, so Perth we’ll call it – but really, it was Freemantle.

We had elected to take an excursion, not to Perth but to Caversham Wildlife Park followed by a visit to Sandalford Winery vineyard for some always welcomed wine tasting. The best bit was that the excursion didn’t start until after lunch so we could have a relaxing morning starting with a lazy breakfast in a [relatively] empty restaurant while everybody else was out exploring. After this, we went ashore just to get a picture of us in port. And then ‘view’ the Queen Mary 2 that had parked behind us, back-to-back, or stern-to-stern for those with a nautical bent J.

She may regret parking behind us later!

Having had such a late, and rather hearty, breakfast we opted to skip lunch though I did promise myself I would need to hunt down some food on my return, scheduled for 16:30. Anyway, with that decision made, we made our way shore side to join our tour bus and tour guide. As we boarded, we were told that we were the last excursion to leave and would most likely be the last to return which would be just in time for the ship’s allotted departure time so, when we returned, we would be asked to re-board the ship as quickly as possible. No pressure there then! On our last coach excursion, in Adelaide, we had a great tour guide, a ringer for Steve Erwin, but this tour guide was definitely not Australian, or English. She sounded Italian so Italian she shall be. Her grasp of the language was good but not good enough and seemed to have trouble when trying to explain some aspects of the local area: This wasn’t helped by a PA system that worked only half way up the coach with intermittent feedback and even, on occasions, cutting out. For the first hour, we made our way through the city traffic and the myriad of traffic lights, which always seemed against us. Eventually however, we reached the outskirts and, at last left the city behind. Not before however, we caught a brief glimpse of Perth’s skyline, so at least we can we say we’ve seen Perth even if we never actually went there. The one thing we did notice was how dry everything was. This area is known to be hot but this season had been a particularly hot one with no rain for 4-months. (As I’m writing this and looking at the news from Perth –re: the lost Air Malaysian flight MH370 – I get the feeling that the dry spell is most definitely over). The ground was so dry and the grass looked like straw: a far cry from the floods we had left back home in England. How ironic that we in the UK are seeing the most rainfall since I don’t know when yet here on the other side of the world, they’re experiencing heat waves and extended periods (4-months) without rain.

Eventually however, we reached the wildlife park and were told we would have 50 minutes here before we would have to move on to the winery.

As we got off the coach, the wall of heat hit us; it was chuffing hot. 50 minutes I decided would be more than enough. And anyway, we had already seen a group of wild Kangaroos on the way to the park so we’d already got our money’s worth :-). As we made our way through the park, it quickly became obvious that once more, Mrs Me (now official) would be happy as there was an abundance of wallabies / kangaroo’s (even white ones) and Koala’s for her to play with.

IMG_3663 IMG_3603 Mrs Me was truly, once more in heaven and if Mrs Me is happy, then so am I and even better, we still had the wine tasting to come. At this centre there was an abundance of Koala’s and Mrs Me got to fiddle with, not all of them, but enough to sate her appetite for Koala acquainting. After that, it was a quick dash to the Wallaby / Kangaroo section, where once more, we were able to feed them, if they had any appetite of course. And an appetite they did not have. We put this down to the fact that there was a great big bin from which anybody could grab as much food as they wanted for feeding purposes. Clearly, they had had more than enough for one day, though there was one that had some interest. IMG_3643 But, before we left, we espied an area with numerous birds, including a Kookaburra.   IMG_3630and, a Wombat called Neil who we simply couldn’t resist having our photo taken with. I’m note sure it was the most flattering of photos, at least from Neil’s perspective: I’m sorry Neil, but Mrs Me did insist on me being in the picture. IMG_3638

Time for the Winery.

In no time at all, we were back on the coach and heading over to the winery where we would have the opportunity to listen to them tell us all about the grapes, the history of the vines, how the wine is stored in barrels for who knows how long, the bottling process, and finally how to taste the wine.  Now, there’s a couple of things you need to know at this point: my parents used to run a pub where we sampled and sold lots of wine and beer, we handled barrels of all sizes (Kilderkins, Firkins & Polypins / Pins). We were also keen gardeners so we know how things grow and I briefly worked in a brewery so I also knew about bottling so if anybody thought I was going to stand around and listen to all that, they were so very, very much mistaken. While everybody else stood around waiting for their ‘lecturer’ to turn up and talk, Mrs Me and I went straight into the shop where a rather attractive (ouch, my ear hurts again) young assistant who was more than happy to let us taste all sorts of wine before we bought some bottles, just for the journey and of course to support the local industries. Having bought what we wanted we went over to the lecture area, which was now finished while the rest crowded into the store. We now had easy access to all the remaining wine plus cheese plus biscuits. We were well sorted. At the allotted time, we made our way back to the coach then had to wait until everybody else had made their choices / purchases before we could leave, now 30 minutes late and 30 minutes before the time we had to be back on the ship with a 45 minute drive ahead of us.

We were going to be late.

Now, I’m sure you can work this out. We had to be back by 16:30, we were 30 minutes from last boarding time so it was therefore 16:00. We had a 45 minute drive back to the ship through the city of Freemantle, just when people are starting to finish work for the day and head for home, or the beach or the bar, etc., etc. The 45-minute drive was going to take longer than 45 minutes. It took 75 minutes. And what an interesting 75 minutes it was to be. Naturally, the traffic took its toll on us as did the numerous traffic lights but at least it enabled me to view the sights of Freemantle. I now know that if I ever want to buy heavy duty diggers, giant earth movers, tankers – of any variety, cement mixers, 18-wheeler rigs or even a WWII tank, the outskirts of Feemantle was the place to go. They also seemed to like their ‘adult shops’ though Mrs Me wouldn’t let me jot down the website address’s. Bulk Billing for various medical services was another frequent observation as well: What that was all about, I really don’t know but as every other one was of a dental nature I took little notice. At last, we reached the ship, late. But as it happened we weren’t the last but the sail away party was set to start in 15 minutes so it was a mad dash back to out cabin to deposit our purchases (fridge magnets, cuddly toys, post cards, etc. the usual stuff) before heading up the terrace bar.

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I think we need a bigger fridge.

The deck was packed with fellow travellers all waving either UK or Australia flags, either way, the Union Jack was flying, to a mix of English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish and Australian songs all of which got louder and more involving as the sailing time approached. The volume and general boisterousness of our singing, cheering and dancing was in response to the passengers on the opposite deck on the QM2 who just stood there and looked at us in bemusement. Clearly those on Cunard do not know how to have a good time although eventually, they did stoke up a 4-piece jazz band but they had no chance against all the Arcadia passengers in full voice backed up by the Arcadia PA System including LOUD recordings of the ships horn. The songs came and went; the minutes ticked by; the QM2 looked on – in silence; and still, we didn’t move. Then came the dreaded announcement (happens at virtually every port). The ships announcement is made, could Mr so and so from cabin so and so please contact reception. This means that somebody has been ashore but they either haven’t yet returned or they haven’t been registered as returned (it’s normally the latter of course). At this point the vote takes place, all in favour of waiting for them to return shout ‘aye’ (nothing): all those in favour of leaving them behind shout ‘aye’ – without exception, all shouted ‘AYE’. Then we shouted across at the QM2 to ask if Mr so and so was on their ship. They looked back, blankly and said nothing, though a couple had managed to find a flag to wave (obviously previous P&O passengers). The ships announcement was repeated a couple more times before eventually Mr so and so had been tracked down. But still we didn’t move.

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And why didn’t we move? We didn’t move because we were waiting for the QM2 to go first as she was in our way. But at last, about an hour and half later, she untied her strings and pushed away from the the side and she was away with us on the Arcadia waving her farewell. And, with that, we also cut loose our strings, pushed away then we had to do a complete turn to face the right way and then we too were off.

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And, as the sun sett on yet another beautiful day, we set course up the west coast of Australia across the Indian Ocean towards Bali, a journey that would take us 3-days.

That was the end of Australia and so for us, Perth truly was our final frontier: for Australia anyway. But fear not Australia, we loved you all. It was probably the best country we’ve visited to date and yes, we’ll be back, with P&O of course.

I never did get any lunch that day 😦

#28 Memories of a Memorable Day

Posted: March 23, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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So, the long awaited day had arrived: that day was, by the way, March the 4th 2014. The day when Debbie agreed to me becoming her Husband. Ten years in the waiting, neither of us really knew how we wanted the day to be but we did know that we didn’t want it to be a church wedding. Equally, we didn’t want it to be a big ‘let’s shout it out’ wedding. It would be a quiet affair and the quieter the better.

Before the day……..

Now, earlier last year when browsing through the cruise brochures, as was our want, we spotted a cruise that would take us from Auckland in New Zealand via Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth & Bali to Singapore. The significant aspect of this was Adelaide, where Debbie’s eldest boy, Matt, had spent some time at university but, more importantly, had entered a big race, sponsored by the Alphutte Restaurant, beat the Aussies and won it. Debbie so desperately wanted to see the trophy with her boys name on it. Obviously, the whole trip had its attractions not least of which was the chance to see, stroke, even hold, a Koala. So that was it, our minds made up, we booked the cruise, with a three night stay in Singapore afterwards and the countdown begun.

Some while later, and we’re talking months here, we both, simultaneously posed the idea of getting married at sea and the Australia cruise would be the ideal time to do it. That was it: minds made up we put the wheels in motion with P&O and that was that. All we had to do, was join the ship, await the allotted day and, knowing that P&O would ensure all happened as it should, dress up smart and turn up and get married. Obviously, it wasn’t that straight forward. Debbie would need a dress but we felt that there was no hurry and we could get one in January.

January came and come the middle of the month, we were starting to worry that Debbie would not find a dress. She knew she’d seen an Alice Temperley number she liked so off to Bicester Village we travelled and lo and behold, there was that very number in the shop, and, it was the right size. Yay I said, buy it and lets go to the pub for a drink to celebrate. Nay she said, lets look at the other shops to see if there is anything better. Nay I said, buy it and lets go to the pub for a drink to celebrate. Nay she said, in a tone that suggested that she was right and I was oh so very, very wrong. OK I said, let’s look at ALL the other shops, then, lets go back to Alice Temperley and buy it and then go to the pub to celebrate. I was walking on thin ice I know but, I got away with it.

Bet you can’t predict what’s coming next 🙂

I won’t go into the number of shops we visited, check out Bicester Village website to get an idea, but it was a lot, and it was cold and it was rainy and I was a broken man. But, I knew I was right and this knowledge kept me going. Eventually, having looked at just about every handbag in every shop but no dresses we went back to Alice Temperley and bought the dress. We then went back to the pub to celebrate, except the pub was closed so we went straight home for a cup of tea instead. But not to worry, we (she) had the dress and all was well. All we had to do now was wait for the 19th February when we would fly out to Auckland to join P&Os Arcadia.

Then, sitting at home on the evening of the 6th February, the delightful Mrs Me (future) suddenly announced that she didn’t feel the dress was right after all . She had to have another one. The Alice Temperley  was to become the evening dress (did I mention that Mrs Me (future) had already bought an evening dress?). So, trawling over the internet she found a shop in Newbury (Mrs Jones Bridal Boutique) that had a dress that she felt was just right. A couple of phone calls later, and she was booked in for a Saturday try out, subsequently followed by three amendment fittings and the dress was ready by the 15th February. I don’t know how much it cost, I do know how much the Alice Temperley cost but not the new number. I do however know that the cardboard box it came in cost £50.

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Come the 19th February, we flew out to Auckland, via Hong Kong, picking up many comments about the pretty box Mrs Me (future) was carrying. It’s my wedding dress she announced; it (the box) cost £50 I announced. Take that she said as she clipped my ear over and over again. At last however, we reached the ship and the confines of our cabin on the Arcadia and we settled in and having found the champagne that P&O had left for us, we spent the first evening on our balcony, chilling.

The next day, we met with our Wedding Co-ordinator, Ellie, from hereon to be known as Miss Ellie who ran us through the process and confirmed of course that we were who we said we were and took the particulars of our Best Man. Jack was our Best Man, we met him the day before he joined the Arcadia in Southampton for the whole world cruise (we were just doing a leg of it) and as such he was our [kind of] advance scout. Little did we realise just how devoted to his new role he was. “Jack?” asked Miss Ellie. Yes, do you know him, we asked. Oh yes, he was a witness at another wedding three weeks ago. It turned out that a couple on his dining table were getting married at sea as well and when Jack told them about us and his role as Best Man, they asked him if he would be their witness: a kind of practice run. That’ll be him I confirmed and that was that. All we needed was another Witness, Miss Ellie would do this if we found nobody so we were just about ready. All we needed to do now was to arrange with the Ships’s Photographer to ‘do our pictures’ and a session in the Spa on the morning of the wedding.

So, who would be our second witness?

For our evening meals, we had opted for a table of six, that way you get to meet four new friends. As it turned out, two of our unknown friends had switched to the early sitting, so we just had the two remaining. Tim and Jill, as was their names, turned out to be a fantastic couple who did in fact have very similar personal stories as ourselves (no need to go into the detail) and they both in fact came from the Southampton area; given that Jack was from Portsmouth as was I, everything seemed so just right. And in due course, we asked if they would join us on our special day and for one of them, Jill, to be our second witness. Thankfully they agreed: in fact, Jill was more excited about the day than Debbie.

The Big Day has arrived.

The clock showed 08:30, I was on the balcony having my early coffee, watching the sea go by, wondering how the day would go. Would Mrs Me (future) cope with the pressure; would the dress be ok (believe it or not, I hadn’t seen it yet); would she get the words wrong; how would she cope with her lizard legs; would her hair be ok; would they (the Spa) do her makeup the way she wanted it These were all concerns I had. As for me, all I had to do was have a hair cut and a shave put on my best dinner suit and go to the bar 30 minutes before the allotted hour. At this point, there was a knock on the door. It was our Champagne Breakfast. This is a good start I thought, breakfast delivered to our room with a nicely chilled bottle of bubbly, to accompany a bottle from Mrs Me’s kind friends where she works. As we settled down to eat the door knocked again, it was another bottle of champagne from my lovely Sister. Obviously, we couldn’t drink it all but we could at least make a start. Today, I thought, was going to be a good day.

Having breakfasted, Debbie had to go to her 09:30 appointment at the Spa. Mine however wasn’t until 11:00 so I settled back down on the balcony and had another welcoming glass of champagne before I too headed off to the Spa. On my way, I popped into the on-board jeweller and bought her a Clogau bracelet to go with her Clogau Necklace earrings that we bought earlier and gave it to her as a sort of pre-wedding present (must have been the champagne). Then, it was my turn for the pre-wedding treatment.

I was greeted by the lovely Tania who explained that she would be giving me a nice haircut, nice shave, a facial plus hand, arm shoulder and scalp massage. The one thing she didn’t tell me was that she was also going to put cucumber like things on my eyes and a face mask. Fortunately, there are no pictures of this event but I have to admit, I did feel a new man and so chilled and relaxed (or was that the champagne?). I was now ready for the main event. All I had to do was change out of my shorts, sandals and t-shirts and squeeze myself into my suit and head on up to the Crows Nest to meet Jack, Tim and Jill and to be subsequently met by Miss Ellie.

While we were waiting, Tim and then Jack obtained large whiskeys for me to settle my nerves.

Jack Me & Tim

Once at the Crows Nest, my first task was to ask Jill if she would be able to go down to our cabin to make sure Debbie was ok and walk up to the Crows Nest with her. Well, I didn’t have to ask her twice, a big kiss and a big hug, and she was gone. At least I knew that Debbie would have some company and moral support for the long walk from Deck 7 towards the rear to Deck 10 at the front. This left just Jack, Tim and me to relax for half an hour, with another whiskey, when right on cue, Miss Ellie arrived with my Button Hole and reminded me how the ceremony and day would unfold and reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. Worry? Me? I don’t think so, I’m more worried for my future Mrs Me.

The Time Has Arrived

Just before two o’clock Captain Aseem Hashmi, MNM (merchant Navy Medal), who was to conduct the ceremony arrived and asked me if I was still ok and told there was still time to duck out if I wanted to, just as I was about to answer, he said, too late, she’s here. You may turn and view your bride. I did turn and saw my future Mrs Me looking more beautiful than I ever remembered or could imagine and to see her standing there in her last minute choice of wedding dress literally took my breath away. Was it really true that this vision really wanted to marry this fat old git? Apparently it was. It was at that moment that I lost all my composure, turned all wimpy and became an absolute blubber guts. For all my concern about her coping with the whole affair, it was me that folded. But, I did manage to compose myself and the Captain proceeded with “Are you Kevin Stirzaker….” – I looked at him and asked “Am I what?” – “No” he said, ‘Are you Kevin Stirzaker?” – “Oh I see” I said, followed with “Yes I am” and then the ceremony continued. I just couldn’t stop looking at Debbie though; I couldn’t get over just how stunning she looked. She had indeed scrubbed up really well. 🙂

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After being pronounced Husband & Wife, and the subsequent kissing and shaking of hands and cuddles it was time to sign the register before heading off for a series of photo shoots around the ship, starting with the Bridge.  Adrian, the Ships Photographer took us around the ship making us feel like royalty as we moved from location to location to have those special photo’s to be taken. I have to say, he made us feel really special throughout the day. The plan was to get a couple of sunset photo’s from the very top on Deck 12 but the cloud cover prevented this but for all that, the day was a fantastic day and one I, and my Wife 🙂 would remember for ever.

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Throughout the whole shoot and the rest of the day in the restaurants, we were drinking champagne and the occasional whiskey to fill any gaps, so that by the end we were both feeling a little tired, as can be clearly seen in this last photo.

Oh no, what have I done?

The rest of the day became a blur, possibly due to whiskey and champagne and so with that, it was time for bed, once more on a different day to the day we actually got up. Ho Hum.

Night Night all.

Koala Steals Mrs Me’s Heart

Posted: March 16, 2014 in Cruising, P&O, Travel
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Today was the day we visited Adelaide, the primary reason for selecting this particular cruise itinerary:

  1. Because Mrs Me’s son Matt spent some time in Adelaide as part of his University years;
  2. Because they had Koala’s that you could stroke and even possibly hold;
  3. Because Matt won a big Cycle Race while in Adelaide and the trophy was in the sponsoring restaurant and we wanted to see it;
  4. Because they had Koala’s that you could stroke and even possibly hold;
  5. Because Mrs Me wanted to visit the restaurant that Matt worked at;
  6. Because they had Koala’s that you could stroke and even possibly hold.

The original idea was the we would hire a driver for the day who would collect us around 09:00 and could take us first to the Cleland Wildlife Centre where Mrs Me could arrange a ‘private’ viewing and holding of a Koala before heading on to the Alphutte Restaurant [where the trophy was] and then to the Chianti Classico Restaurant [where Matt had worked] before returning to the ship mid-afternoon. The problem with this idea was that the Australian’s were asking for £500+, which seemed more than a little too steep.

Getting a taxi on the day seemed a better option but we needed to be sure we could secure one for the day and be confident that we would get back to the ship in time. Getting back late for the ship did carry the risk of it sailing without us and as such was a risk too great for me to take.

I’ll tell you what I said, ‘Let’s wing it and see what the day brings’

But, this in itself brought the risk that we may achieve nothing: that also was a risk I wasn’t comfortable with, so we needed to mitigate this somehow. The obvious option was to bite the bullet and pay the £500+ but we both dig our heels in on that one. We therefore elected to book the cruise excursion to the wildlife park (at least that way, we got to fiddle with, I mean stroke, Koalas) and see how much time we have left to get to the restaurants.

Blooming heck, I thought we were on holiday

Being on an excursion does mean that you are now time driven and need to watch the clocks. And our tour required us to assemble at 08:10 for an 08:30 departure.  This meant that I had to be up at 06:00 to get myself ready before making Mrs Me her early morning cup of tea prior to her getting herself ready: this can be a drawn out affair and one that I am best out of the way of for, [believe me] Mrs Me is not a morning person. But, ready we got, breakfast we had, and off to the coach we went.

As we boarded the coach, we met our tour guide, a Steve Erwin ringer who had the personality to match, complete with the Aussie Hat which just looked right on him. As we headed out of Adelaide towards the Wildlife Park, I noticed that we seemed to be heading along a route that would take as past, or at least very close to the Alphutte Restaurant. Spotting an opportunity, I asked if we would be coming beck this way. Yes was the answer as some people may want to get off to check out some of the shops before returning to the ship. Brilliant I thought and then explained how we wanted to visit the restaurant to see Matt’s Trophy. By the time I’d finished explaining to him what the race was, it had been interpreted and announced to the coach that Matt had won the 2nd biggest race in Adelaide, 2nd only to the Tour Down Under and that we would be driving by the restaurant on the way back so that all could see this locally famous landmark.

Mrs Me was now happy as she knew she would be fiddling with, I mean stroking, Koalas and seeing her boy’s Trophy. And if Mrs Me was happy, I knew that I could also be happy and so relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the trip.

On our way to the Wildlife Centre, the tour guide while pointing out the many points of interest, he now also pointed out the various roads, and especially hills, that were used by cyclists and particular, major races such as the Tour Down Under and the ‘Alphutte Tour’.  While facts and figures were pretty much correct, nomenclature was up for interpretation :-).

Eventually, we reached the Park. The guide and park ranger gathered us up to explain what was happening and time constraints, etc. and suggested we might want to stick with the guide to get the most out of the visit. Er, ‘No Way’ thought both I and Mrs Me who subsequently obtained the obligatory bag of food for the wallabies and of we went while we waited for the Koalas to come out to play, which by all accounts would be between 11:00 and 12:00.

In no time at all, we were in with Wallabies. Unfortunately, we were also in with the Emu’s. Now, while Wallabies are cute and cuddly, Emu’s are actually great big chickens who’ll eat anything that looks edible including fingers and hair and armed with that, slightly false, knowledge, we snuck past the Emu’s and hunted down a hungry looking Wallaby: either Wallabies are little piggy’s or they’re not fed because it took no time at all to find one that was all too eager to accept our food offering. For my part, I seemed to find the politest one in the Centre. He would sit up, hold my hand with both his paws, take some of the food and then sit there while he chewed it all up, keeping hold of my hand ready for his next mouthful.

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Soon enough however the time suggested that we were now bored with Wallabies and that we should head for Koala Land.

Come on, let’s be honest with ourselves, who doesn’t like Koalas. They sit there looking at you with those big soft ‘hug me’ eyes and a nose like that of a traditional Steiff Teddy Bear. They move about, only if they have to, a bit like an overactive sloth yet they just look at you as if to say ‘I just want a cuddle’

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Well, Mrs Me was only too pleased to to comfort such Koala. It was all I could do to stop her from snatching him and hiding they poor Koala in her carry bag. Fortunately such event didn’t take place and she agreed to give him a bit of a tickle and a cuddle, though the Koala still looked unsure of her intentions.  In the end, I had to intervene and get between her and the poor Koala. Not sure but I think she was okay about it but I do know she still has feeling for the poor little creature, the Koala, not yours truly. There is also, luckily, another factor that probably saved the Koala from abduction. They are all taken away at 12:00 and placed out of harms way. Phew, safe at last, the Koala climbs a tree out of the way of Mrs Me and Mrs Me slinks sulkily away to the gift shop to buy a stuffed toy Koala. I think I know who’ll be getting the most cuddles tonight, and it aint gonna be me :-(.

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At last, the time came for us to return to the coach for the drive back to Adelaide and the Alphutte Restaurant.

On the way however, we had a scheduled stop at Lofty’s Mount, the highest point over Adelaide from where you can see for miles and miles and miles. And do you know what I focussed on the most? The sea of course; cos that’s all I’ve been seeing for day and day. I jest of course, the sea was there but a long way away and here’s a picture just to prove there was land as well as sea.

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Soon enough, we left Lofty’s Point and headed back into town. This is where Jan, the coach driver, really came up trumps as she drove past Alphutte, pointing out to all on the buss that this was where Matt’s Trophy was held. She then continued into town and round to the Mall so that Mrs Me & I would know where we needed to get to, to pick up the shuttle bus back home. She then drove us all back to the restaurant to let us off before returning the remaining coach party back to the ship.

After only a few minutes, Leo and Miriam, owners of the Alphutte came along to allow us inside to see the trophy.

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He also showed us some other memorabilia such as a signed photo of Miguel Indurain and Tony Rominger as well as the first full carbon bike made by Colnago specifically for Tony Rominger and yes, I got to stroke it. As for Leo & Miriam, they were both so sweet. They had no need to break into their Sunday to come and meet us and yet they did: they offered us a drink and we talked about cycling, Adelaide (Leo was from Switzerland) and then it transpired that Leo had sent me a text to my other phone offering to pick us up from the ship and show us around, including their own place, which by all accounts is between the Cleland Wildlife centre and Lofty’s Point and they even had wild Koala’s in their, not insubstantial grounds, just sitting there in the trees. Ah well. Opportunities lost….

All too soon, the element of time took over the situation and forced us to beat a hasty but sad exit in order to get the last shuttle bus back to the boat (it was a 45 minute drive from the pick-up point to the ship) as missing this would mean us missing the ship. The walk, close on a mile, was along unshaded city streets with the temperature around 82 – 84f. For two not so young people from the UK and having spent more months than we cared to remember in cold wet weather conditions, such an opportunity should be welcomed but in fact, it was quite telling, especially on myself: after all, I hit 60 last year. We reached the pick-up point just in time, hot, perspiring and glowing (animals sweat, men perspire and women glow) and with very sore feet, and to make matters worse, my cancels (swollen ankles, more on them later) had returned.

Having made the ship, we dumped our stuff, put on our drinking heads and headed for the rear pool deck for a couple of glasses of wine while we enjoyed the now traditional sail away party before heading dinner, late drinks and lamenting the cancelling of the 60s & 70s party under the stars owing to too much wind. Don’t remember those years anyway.

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With that, we both retired for the night, although once again, we failed to go to bed on the same day we got up; tsk; tsk; naughty stop outs. We now had just two more sleeps before our wedding at sea. My only concern now was will I still fit into the suit and will Mrs Me fit into the dress. Only time will tell.

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