Archive for the ‘general’ Category

Now that’s got you wondering……..

Well, It was around 07:00 on a Tuesday morning, in the previous Millennium (mid 90’s). My wife was sitting in the living room getting ready for work, when there was a rather loud, urgent knocking at the front door. Door opened, policemen moved in demanding to know where I was: Outside are two police cars and a police van (where we were then living, near Chichester, was not an area where the police were generally needed so the event must have excited the neighbours somewhat). He’s not here, she said. He’s in Gloucester on a course, why do you want him anyway? she asked (I don’t know the exact words, I wasn’t there: I was on a course in Gloucester, nursing as it happened, a bit of a headache).

There had been an incident at Membury Services the previous day and the Thames Valley police were [very] keen to have a word with me about it.

Eventually, convinced that I was wasn’t in the house and that I was actually away on a course, and having confirmed that I did possess, and was driving, a Ford Granada Scorpio 4×4, they left. They did however leave strict instructions that I was to be contacted and told to telephone Newbury Police Station as early as convenient! So, within the space of 30 – 60 minutes what started out as a dawn raid with squad cars and vans reduced to a “can you please phone us when you can”!

The previous day, having packed my bag for a 5-day trip, I bid my wife farewell and set off to Gloucester. Having spent the weekend doing a little too much gardening my back was giving me grief so I elected to avoid taking one of the company pool cars and took my own car, which I had only recent bought. It was a nice shiny Ford Granada Scorpio for which I had traded in my shiny red Ford Sierra XR4 (both cars had a nice 2.8 V6 engine). The main difference, apart from all the sexy trim you get with a Scorpio, was that it was a four wheel  drive – Yummy.

My journey took me across to Winchester then up the A34 to Newbury (the by-pass didn’t exist then so getting through Newbury took some time) then on to the M4. Once on the Motorway I took a break at the Membury Services to make myself comfortable and get a drink so that I could ‘pop some painkillers’ before continuing my journey. Having purchased a coffee I decided to go and sit in the car, take the tablets and relax for 10-minutes – having elected not to take a pool car I hadn’t needed to go to the office first, so I was well ahead with my time.

4X4’s corner really well

The mighty V6 ‘roared’ into life after which, gears selected, we (the Scorpio and I) made our way from the parking lot and onto the road that would once more take me onto the M4. It was at this point I noticed that the road ahead was kind of bendy and twisty and was pleading with me to test the roadholding of my four wheel drive beast. So I floored it taking her up through the gear box at each red line and round the twists and turns before hitting the motorway at approximately 69.999999 miles per hour(!). This car was a good car. I had done well in choosing this car. This car and I were going to have such fun together.

Come back next week for Part 2…….

To start with

Technically, my first bike was some nondescript bike that I first managed to ride without falling off. My reward for completing a full length of the road with putting my feet down or crashing was 6d (about 2.5p in new money), enough for a bag of chips from the chip shop and still have change, but having no further recollections of such a steed, my [First Bike] was therefore my Raleigh/Hercules (my memory is misty), complete with 3-speed sturmey archer gears chrome rims and full leather saddlebag. I rode it to and from school, day in and day out.I even got knocked off by a couple of motorists, though in those days, the motorists were horrified by what they had done and would do all they could to make sure you were ok. By the second summer however, it was time to upgrade my bike so I bought some cow horn handlebars, removed the saddlebag and mudguards and went off-roading into a place known locally as Anmore Dell which was about 100 yards in diameter and 50 to 75 feet deep. This was a great big hollow which was slowly being filled in by lorries but in the meantime made a great playground offering as it did, cycle paths down through the shrubs and trees into a great wide expanse of ups and downs, ideal for my new off-roader.

The ‘hollow’ offered more than a place to ride bikes mind you. Being half filled with water most of the time, it was also a great place to play ‘war at sea’. Using a couple of old car roofs, we never knew how they came to be there, we would upturn them and use them as rafts to out manoeuvre one another until tired of paddling with sticks and bars we would once more return to shore. As our war games became more ambitious however, so did the dangers, culminating when one of my friends showed off his sugar bomb that he’d made (we’d been shown how to make them earlier at school, but I’m not about to divulge such information again) and decided to let it off. One flash, one loud bang, one cloud of smoke, one big fire, which took us what seemed an eternity to put out, and we were one happy bunch. With that, we returned to our bikes and spurred on by adrenalin of the ‘bomb’ we started creating ramps to jump our bikes over. First jump, no more than a foot high, I came tearing down the hill, hit the ramp, soared into the air and landed on my front wheel just before coming off and rolling into the water. I was wet but I would dry, I was dirty but I would clean up (a nice puddle and sandpaper always saw to that) before going home but the bike was not so good. The forks had bent back making the bike impossible to ride: The wheel had buckled making the bike impossible to ride: The handlebars were bent in all directions making the bike impossible to ride. But, ride it I did, the full half mile back home where I just knew I was in for a ‘not very nice time’, which did turn out to be the case.

Come to think of it, I got a thick ear then. Why is it that I’m always getting thick ears. No wonder one of them is a bit cauliflower like.

I remember sulking (believe me, this old Podge can still sulk for England) for weeks after that day not only because I’d been chastised by my father for trying to use my Hercules Push Bike to simulate the great jumps over ramps that I’d seen Dad doing so many times before, albeit on a motorbike – I should point out that he was part of the Royal Marines Motorcycle Display Team and was a regular motorcycle trials competitor – but also because the bike had been thrown away and not replaced. I now walked to school, day-in, day-out, a distance of about 3-miles each way.

Actually, it was only a couple of weeks as my Dad had taken it to his barracks where it was made good once more. But it was never the same bike again though it still took me to school and back and it did take me and my paper bag round on my paper rounds, 2 every morning and 2 every evening. Eventually though, the bike caved in and once more, I was relegated to walking and winter was approaching!

Christmas 1967

It was a cold Christmas Day with a very heavy frost outside, my Father (I was 14 by now) told me to come with him in the car to Uncle Bills though he didn’t actually say why. Uncle Bill lived about 8-miles away so the journey did’t take too long and were soon inside with Uncle Bill and Aunty June having a nice hot cup of chocolate and mince pies. I was then taken out into the garage and there before me was a beautiful Falcon Black Diamond Racing Bike, and yes, you guessed, it was all mine. There was however a catch. I had to ride it home. Now I had come, and had been allowed to come, dressed for a car ride with just a shirt and jumper as defence against the cold. I certainly didn’t have any gloves but I didn’t care. I had my new bike with drop handlebars, butterfly wheel nuts and a double clanger which gave me 10 gears. With absolute glee, I hugged Dad and Uncle Bill, said my goodbyes and set off on the 8-mile ride back home. I have no idea how long it took I just know that most of the ride was a blur, initially with excitement but soon replaced with bitter coldness and fingers that were so painful it was difficult to change gear or even brake. But, eventually I got home, close to tears with pain and with joy. Dad of course was home already and thought it was all very funny. I didn’t care how funny it was: I didn’t care how cold I was: I didn’t care that my fingers were almost dropping off: I didn’t care that snot and tears had frozen around my face. All I cared about was my new bike. This bike was NOT going to have cow horn handlebars and it certainly wasn’t going to go jumping. No, this bike was for serious riding – I was going to be the new Eddy Merckx.

I rode my bike everywhere; I rode my bike all the time; I became a regular sight around my local village doing my lap after lap trying to get faster and faster: at one point even the local policeman would ride next to me on his motorbike, telling me how fast I was going. Then my need for adventure grew once more but this time, my adventures were, not how high could I jump but how far could I cycle in a day, and how quick. Denmead to Arundel was a cracking route and a flat route. Denmead to Heathrow was another good route but very, very hilly and we never did reach Heathrow anyway.  My favourite route was Denmead to Alresford where another uncle and aunty of mine was the river keeper and house keeper for a Colonel who ‘owned’ a stretch of the River Alre: That was a hilly route as well.

And so, with the Falcon Black Diamond, my love affair with cycles and long distance cycling was born. And yes, I did like cycling up hills. I hated cycling up hills, just as much as I do today, but I still love cycling up hills: Only a cyclist would understand.

And now, I yearn for just one more ride. 😦

PS: The Falcon was eventually stolen by a [trusted] ‘friend’ while I was working at holiday camp.

PPS: I never became the new Eddy Merckx, but on this day the 20th July, Eddy wine his first Tour de France and, as it it happens, Armstrong (Not Lance) and Aldrin first landed on the Moon.

PPPS: None of the aforementioned uncles and aunties were actually Uncles & Aunties. We just called them so.

PPPPS: No more PS’s 🙂

Fluffy The Cat

I’ll always remember dear old Fluffy. He was my first real friend and in those early years, we were inseparable.  Which was a bit of a shame really as it transpired that I was highly allergic to cats, especially longhaired ones such as Fluffy was. So you can imagine my dismay when I learnt that Fluffy had left us and gone to seek out new friends and adventures in the local woods. Obviously, I was distraught and yet somehow I was able to reconcile myself to this news as I also knew that while I was allergic to him, I suspected that he might have been allergic to me which was why he had become so ill: I knew that at least in the woods, he would get better and hopefully make some new friends.

I feel I should explain a little more: fill in the gaps so to speak.

I don’t really know how long Fluffy and I had been together but it can’t have been long as I think I was still running around in khaki shorts; only the bigger boys wore long trousers in those [1050’s] days. Fluffy was everything to me, a sort of living noo noo / comfort blanket. During those long winter nights, Fluffy would curl up on my lap and keep me warm (central heating and electric blankets was science fiction in those days) and his constant purring was always a comfort to me and helped me fall asleep. So often however, I would wake in the night fighting for breath where Fluffy had decided he wanted to snuggle closer. It would appear that Asthma and cats do not make good bed fellows (something that took me over 30 years to accept).

As Intimated, I never really knew how old Fluffy was, but I do know he seemed to have been around for as long as I could remember, so I guess that was forever in little persons speak. Anyway,at some point in his life, he developed some of of illness and his fur was missing where there was now a horrible wound that Fluffy kept licking. Daddy said he would take Fluffy to the animal doctor to see if he could make him better but he wouldn’t let me come with him. He said it was not a nice place to go as there was all sorts of scary animals and I wouldn’t Like it at all. so off went Daddy and Fluffy.

Later that day, Daddy returned and said that the animal doctor had looked at him and thought he might be able to do something for him but we should try putting some cream on his wound for a few days first then he would have another look.

Every day, I put this cream on Fluffy. Fluffy didn’t like the cream: Fluffy made such a fuss: Fluffy scratched me. But, I knew that we had to do this to make him better so I kept putting the cream on. I knew that if Fluffy was to get better then I just had to do it even if Fluffy did moan at me, and scratch me, I knew I had to do it. After a week, there was no progress: In fact, the wound seemed worse. Daddy was going to have to take Fluffy back to the animal doctor. He said he would take Fluffy while I was at school.

At the end of school, I rushed home to see how Fluffy was doing, only to be met by a glum faced Mummy and Daddy. Daddy said he was really really sorry but as he was getting out of the car to go into the vets, Fluffy somehow managed to escape from the car and run into the woods. I was somehow consoled by the knowledge that Fluffy was probaly with lots of cat friends now and I was sure thatFluffy would be happy there. Nevertheless, I was so upset that couldn’t settle to watch telly (yes, we did have telly in those days, but it didn’t start until early evening) or even eat my tea. So, I had an early night that night.

I think we all know what really happened to Fluffy, don’t we…

As John Wayne might not have said 🙂

I have a confession to make. Back in 2013, I wrote a post called [Milk: Good Food? Bad Food?] where having suffered from a number of chest infections a good dear friend of mine who, if she is reading this will probably throw her arms up in despair and come round to box my ears, advised me to cut out milk and related products. As I so wanted, nay, needed, to get back out cycling and I did actually quite like the idea of breathing, I did as I was told and the differences were remarkable. I’m not saying I was cured but my breathing did improve and yes, I did get back out on my bike and did actually build up to doing 50 – 60 miles rides so that I could take part in a 500 mile cycle challenge though France which consisted of 7-days cycling included 70, 80, or even 90 mile rides. And it felt so good. Podge was back in the saddle. Still fat, but back in the saddle nevertheless.

Sadly, having completed the cycle challenge, my bike was returned to the garage and I fell once into a life of dietary abuse. Yes, I went back to milk products. The lure of Shreddies and CoCo Pops was just too great.  It’s important to note that I could of course justify my actions thus:

  • Shreddies are full of roughage so good for weight management;
  • Scientists, doctors & professors had responded (mainly via LinkedIn) to my article on Milk  to say that there was little or no evidence to suggest that Milk was bad for respiratory problems;
  • Shreddies gave me energy;
  • My breathing was fine now so no need to worry;
  • I had my 60th Birthday and my Wedding Cruise to get through;
  • I liked my Shreddies.

Naturally, and conveniently, I ignored the fact that so many other people with respiratory problems had also responded to my post to the effect that Yes, Milk had been shown to be bad and cutting it from their diets made dramatic improvement.

Thinking back, I find it curious that those in the know (doctors, professors, etc.), really don’t know and those supposedly not in the know (those that actually suffer) actually do know a great deal: They certainly do know that when they cut out milk, the difference is quickly apparent.

Of course, through those winter months and of course my two P&O cruises, all milk related matters faded into obscurity. I’m sorry again Liz. And I gorged my way around the Canaries. I abused my digestive systems all through Christmas and then I just went overboard (no pun intended) in gluttony as we sailed around Australia and on to Singapore.

Then, in March, my health took a turn for the worse which was exacerbated (see, I do know big words) by the worst air pollution London (where I work) has seen for many, many years. This time however, I was really bad, to the point of being frightened, almost to the point of wishing I didn’t have to breathe any more. The Vets, sorry, doctors, put me on a course of steroids and antibiotics. I ate all these up but there was no improvement: walking from bedroom to bathroom still left me fighting to breath. The Vets 🙂 gave me a load more steroids and some seriously sting antibiotics. I ate all these. Still no change, though I diid notice the antibiotics had a strange effect on me, with each tablet having a similar effect to that of eating a tin beans: In hindsight, thats the only effect they had on me. I was still struggling. I went back to the Vets. They were perplexed. I had no infection but I was clearly fighting to breath. So they tried  putting me on water tablets(!). These were supposed to help get rid of any water retention (I made the mistake of telling them that I had developed Cankles while on holiday, which I normally do). Still no effect. I’d had enough: I didn’t know what to do: it was genuinely getting me down, and frightened. And then I had a eureka moment.

As I sat on the Sofa, tucking into my bowl of Shreddies, mixed with Cheerios, I suddenly remembered what I’d been told back in 2013 (sorry again Liz) and I’d actually advocated. Milk, yes, Milk is bad for people with respiratory problems. And not just milk, but products related to milk, such as cheese, which I happen to enjoy as well; though not with my cereals of course, were also bad. And as I sat there, ‘enjoying’ my breakfast even though every spoonful was followed by a fight to draw breath once more, I knew the answer: I had always known the answer. My dear friend Liz had given me the answer yet I’d fallen by the wayside once more. Some people are addicted nicotine (I once was myself, cue COPD); some people are addicted to alcohol (I’m not, but I do like it, honest, I’m not, I just like it, a lot 🙂 ); some idiots are addicted to narcotics (best of luck to them): I however am addicted to Milk, and I needed to kick the habit: I’ve beaten Nicotine addiction so milk should be a doodle. And so, with that thought, I made the  break.

24 hours makes all the difference

24 hours really does make all the difference because having taken milk and milk related products out of my diet, the very next day saw a marked improvement, an improvement that has continued to be so on a day by day basis. My breathing is easier, I’m more relaxed and almost a pleasure to be around. I’m not cured, but I’m getting better. I’m still fat but I’ll get thinner. I’m still old and, I’m glad to say, I’ll get older (a couple of times over the past couple of weeks I did wonder about that). I’m still ugly, but then the Good Lord decided that ugly I would be so I’ll probably stay ugly. Though, as I have told Mrs Me on a number of occasions, I am quite a catch so maybe not so ugly after all. The main point is, my breathing is improving and so long as I stay away from milk, and lose a bit of weight, my breathing should continue to improve. I hope so, I’ve a garage full of bicycles screaming out to be ridden.

And so with that, I really am getting of my milk and riding my bike.

And I don’t care if the effect is Psychosomatic or the consequence of withdrawing milk, the result is the same: I can breath.

Go Podge, go.

 

 

Over time, I’m slowly writing a recount of my life and notable incidents. On such incident was wen I was caught up in an accident at work at incident when fire extinguishing gas was accidentally dropped. This is my story of that incident:

A Business Continuity / Disaster Recovery Exercise? Nope. It was real, but a great scenario nevertheless.

It was around 07:00 on a Monday morning. I had just started my shift in a large computer installation and was in the middle of the handover from the previous nights shift. It was at this time, same time, every week, the the fire alarms were tested. This involved inserting a key into the fire alarm control panel and manually sounding the alarms. Doing it this way meant that the local fire service wasn’t alerted so the they didn’t respond to a non-event.

Anyway, as I intimated, I had just arrived at the Data Centre and was in the middle of the shift handover process. For me, this particular week was an exciting week as it was my first week back on shift having been on a secondment for the past 6+ months working days [the worse part of the secondment] and so I was naturally keen to get back into the reactive operational environment I so much preferred.

As we were going through the events of the previous night and a review of the coming days schedule and without warning, there was a loud hissing sound and I mean LOUD, followed by escaping clouds of what I would describe as being of a dry ice cloud type. In a flash we all realised this was not dry ice, neither was it supposed to be happening. We also realised that perhaps, just possibly, we really didn’t want to be around as this ‘dry ice cloud’ was in fact Halon Gas [designed to extinguish fires]. At this point, everybody ran for the nearest fire exit to get out of the building. Now, I don’t know why, but I headed for the fire escape I had become used to during my recent secondment, which was at the far end of the wing  we were in, which housed the data prep department (in the 70s and 80s, all data was entered into the computers on a batch job basis. This data was keyed in by an army of data prep operators). This meant I had to run, through clouds of Halon, naturally holding my breath, as fast I could. As you can probably guess, the clouds of Halon impair visibility ‘big time’ and so because of this, combined with me holding my breath and running, in my mind, like Linford Christie, I failed to notice that the route I had chosen did not go in the logical straight line to the door (as it used to) but it now took a dog leg around a five foot stationary cupboard.

You’ve probably guessed the next bit!

I ran, at full speed, straight into the cupboard, the top of which reached just above my eyes. The outcome was inevitable. Pain, intense pain and a lot, and I mean a lot, of blood. But I knew, I couldn’t stop: I had to carry on and get out of the room before the gas became too much and cut my oxygen supply off.

It’s worth pointing out at this time, that yes, I do know that Halon isn’t quite as bad as CO2 and that the gas probably won’t suffocate you, though if you have a bad heart, it certainly wont do you any good. But, when you’re in a room being filled with gas and you can’t see a blooming this, your natural instinct is to get the heck of it. So I did.

How I did it, I really don’t know, but somehow, holding my hands to my face 1) to stop the blood (a useless gesture) and 2) to stop the gas getting at me (another useless gesture), I reached the double doors that led to the stairwell and subsequent safety. I pushed open the doors and literally threw myself down two flights of stairs, through another set of doors and out into the open air. I was greeted by my colleagues who had become concerned when they realised that I hadn’t followed them out of the fire escape they used. At the same time however, they also became concerned at the amount of blood that was now gushing from where my nose was (I’ve still got it, but it didn’t look like it at the time). I don’t remember a lot after this but I do remember somebody rushing into the ladies toilets and coming out with something absorbent to hold over  my nose. By now, the outside was covered in blood: it must have looked like a war zone.

At this point the decision was taken that I needed to go to the hospital [a fair assessment I would say] but rather than wait for an ambulance I would driven their, face appropriately dressed with something alien to most blokes. On reaching A&E I was quickly taken in for examination. Here, I remember very little. I do know that wanted to understand what sort of gas it was; they also wanted to know who else may have been affected by it. I’m guessing this was early days of Halon Gas as at the tome, nobody at the hospital had heard of it so they had to phone whoever they phone when they need to know such information.

AFter satisfying themselves that the gas was not a product that would counteract with anaesthetic, I was quickly taken down (or along, or up) tot he theatre where those lovely sleepy time drugs were administered. As I counted backwards from 10, I remember somebody putting their hand round my throat as I drifted off into la la land.

Now, before you think I imagined the hands around my throat bit, the reason they do this is because anybody with Hiatus Hernia (which I have) is prone to reflux when anaesthetic  is administered. In such situations, the reflux can be taken back down into the lungs, which isn’t good I can assure you. The hands around the throat are to prevent the reflux coming up.

I awoke some while later having had my nose stitched back (6-stitches) to where it should be and the bridge between my eyes also sown back together (7-stitches). Apparently I also had a fracture to the frontal bone just above my eyes: I also had a bot of a headache but, other than that, I was fine.

Meanwhile, back at the Data Centre (now out of bounds due to the presence of gas), people were starting to arriving to start what they thought was going to be just another day at the office. People were all milling about whispering to each other, steering clear of all the blood, and telling each other what they had heard had happened. There was however one poor person who was standing around who didn’t have a clue what was going on. Nobody could face telling here. This poor person was Terri, my wife: nobody had informed her. Eventually, somebody had the decency to inform her that the blood all around her was from her husband  who was now in hospital and probably heading into theatre. Nice. Naturally, Terri, accompanied by one of my colleagues came straight to the hospital.

Contractors were brought in to clean the blood while the fire service and the gas installers checked the building to ensure it was safe occupy. I don’t know when, I was after all out of it by now, but I’m guessing it was around around lunchtime, all staff were allowed into the building. As everybody filed back in, the girls from Data Prep then saw the bloodies imprint of my hand on their exit door and demanded that it be cleaned. Don’t know why it hadn’t been cleaned already but in the confusion I guess it had just been missed.

Everybody settled back into work, although the events of the day were clearly the topic of many conversations. At the same time, the gas installers were busy refilling the Halon Gas Cylinders. As they were doing this, somehow, the engineers must have triggered the pre-gas drop alarm. The Data Prep supervisor turned to tell everybody to leave as quick as possible. All she saw was an empty room and swinging exit doors.

So, why didn’t the alarm go off before the gas dropped earlier in the morning? I hear you ask. Well, as it turned out, the poor maintenance guy who tested the alarms that morning put the key, as he every week, into the test lock to sound the alarms. Unfortunately, next to the test lock was the drop lock. The same key operated both. He put the key in the wrong lock and initiated a drop. This was a facility to enable a manual drop of gas in case of fire. Once you trigger this, it cannot be aborted. It was all or nothing. We got it all; every last drop.

Back at the hospital, people were dropping in to see how I was. Colleagues 50, 60 miles away had heard of the incident and came down to see me. I was genuinely touched by the level of care and consideration shown by all. I even received a telephone call from the CTO who was in the USA at the time, to ask how I was and to tell me to take as long as I need and to make sure that I was fully recovered before thinking of coming back to work (this was genuine concern over my well being).

Then came the Union. They thought it was Christmas and convinced me that I should claim for what had happened. My initial reaction was not to, after all, it was a genuine accident but then I thought well actually, yes I will. Mainly because they had failed / neglected to inform my wife what had happened. And so the claim went ahead while I languished at home for 6-weeks through a long hot summer while many people would come round just to view me and my horrible injuries (I so which I had photos).

Eventually, after what seemed an eternity, we settled out of court. It was’t a vast sum, but it was the principle more than anything else. With my money, I bought a nice shiny new road bike with titanium frame and new integrated gears and so the interest in cycling was once again reborn and it has never wained since.

That’s pretty much it really. You’ll notice that the only name used was that of Terri, my wife. All other names were deliberately omitted to protect from embarrassing or offending anybody. Those that did help me in the aftermath and demonstrated clear friendship and concern will always be remembered and my thanks go to all of you.

Go Podge, Go.